Do I wake or sleep?

So, the Planet Connections Awards Ceremony was last night--and I won!!!! "Outstanding Actress in a Featured Role of a Play" says my award--yay!

Eeeeeehhhh!!!!

I also performed in the ceremony--they asked me to sing the opening song in character (as Roberta). The song was terrific but I didn't get it until Monday and we didn't rehearse until Thursday--and then only had two rehearsals over all, INCLUDING the tech! So I was a little nervous about that, for sure. Amada (one of the PCTF bigwigs) was one of my backup singers. And I made a new friend! As part of the number I interacted with one of the other nominees (for "Best Solo Performance") and a couple of people commented on our "chemistry" so we're FB-friending each other. I was a little disappointed I didn't get to do the "red carpet" thing--the schedule was supposed to be 6:30-7:30 Red Carpet/Cocktail Reception and we *should've* been finished with the tech by then, so I'd planned to change into the orange dress, be photographed in that, and then change into the red dress before the start of the show at 7:30. This did not happen--we didn't finish rehearsing the number until 7:15. Lord! No time at all to mingle, drink or change. And my hair--I was able to try to curl it during the tech but it didn't help at ALL. My hair has gotten so long, it just pulls the curls out. Even spray gel didn't help. I squeezed into the red dress and then waited FOREVER for the show to start--as I was waiting, one of the staffers wanted to take my picture on the red carpet for the website. She ended up taking two pictures, one of regular Clara and one as Roberta.

The number went pretty well. I made one mistake but nobody noticed, and I was actually enjoying myself, lots of energy. That is definitely one thing I have as a musical performer, is ENERGY! During the rehearsal period for my ship contract, when the musical director and choreographer were telling us about the "Greas'd Lightnin'" show, they said there were six characters--the Greaser (Danny/Kenicki type), the "Bad Girl" (Rizzo type), the Nerd, the "Nice Girl" (sandy type), the Class President and the Cheerleader. I said Can I be the Cheerleader? They smiled mirthlessly and said oh, don't worry--you were the FIRST person we cast! (When we learned the 'ography for the "One Singular Sensation" show, I was CONSTANTLY getting the note "Stop bouncing! Learn to glide!" Although my bouncing definitely helped during the "Land of 1000 Dances" number.)



Me as the Cheerleader, with my friend Mickey as the Nerd

After the number I went downstairs and changed as quickly as I could--I'd worn my red hearts dress for the Roberta number but wanted to wear The Commando Dress (that orange racer-back dress--so sexy!). Amada offered me a glass of wine, most of which I gulped down (we weren't allowed food or drink on the auditorium) and we chatted for a while. I told her how much I liked the Festivity--I said not only is the PCTF a good thing overall, by furthering various charities and "teaching" people (for lack of a better word), but it is clear that Glory and the rest of the team respect the art and the craft of what we do as theater professionals. None of which can be said about some OTHER theater festivals! I think it's wonderful that Glory has put together such a solid endeavor in only a few years--well-done and I'm proud to be associated with it. I told Amada about how we as artists hear so frequently that what we do is basically self-indulgent and something like PCTF contradicts that--I also told her about the volunteering my 2008 Xmas Carol cast did, and how seeing Xmas Carol in '07 inspired Holly to start her Guatemala endeavor. See, art CAN make a difference--not just in attitudes (although that is important) but in actual measurable change.

After this I ran back upstairs and sat with Duncan, Chris and Akila, Heather and Doug. Doug won and then they announced me right after him. (Woo hoo!) It seemed there was some kind of ballsup with the actual physical awards, as I and several other winners did not actually get our awards until after the ceremony when they FOUND them! I know that when I went backstage after the first number, I walked through several extremely stressed out staffers sitting on the floor amidst a bunch of papers, saying things to each other like "have you found 'Best Actress in a Musical'?" And one poor presenter read off THE WRONG NAME--not the name of a non-winner, but a winner for another category. Poor girl was horrified. Luckily I think most people didn't quite understand. I saw a lot of the PCTF plays this year but seemingly none of the ones that won anything! I will say, one the actresses that beat out Heather--well, I saw that show and not to be unkind but I think they made a mistake. She wasn't impressive. Doug agreed with me. And there was another show that sounded (and looked) fantastic, called Wanderlust--they did a bit from it for the ceremony and Duncan told me he'd heard the 'ography* was amazing.

After the ceremony we all went back downstairs and mingled. The show started VERY late so we didn't have that much time for the after party (we had to be out of the space by a certain hour). Heather and I wanted to buzz Scott (also in the cast) who usually tends bar at his champagne bar Flute on Sunday evenings but as it turned out, he wasn't there last night, so Duncan, Heather and I ended up going to Pig & Whistle and I totally nommed on some crab and asiago dip. YUM. Then I got home and called my Mom, who was thrilled.

So exciting!


*The director for the ceremony (the guy who staged it) used this term--this is literally the first person I've heard say "'ography" since my ship contract. I need to get back to musical theater, I'm losing touch with my roots! Duncan, write me a musical :)

Friday evening I went down to the Gene Frankel to see the last Planet Connections show I could, Doug's (our Tom in Sweeter Dreams) other show, Hummingbirds. Not bad at all--his performance was great, as were the two women. One of them (the two women) buttonholed me two weeks ago after Sweeter Dreams, raving about my performance and...touching me?! Not inappropriately but flirtatiously. I certainly wasn't offended but was wondering if I'd interpreted that correctly and later Duncan said "oh yeah, she was all over you." Okay, then! Anyway, she and the other woman, whom I'd seen in another PC show, Loose Women... (she was great) were both very strong. I couldn't hang out to compliment anyone afterwards, as I had to book way back uptown to catch the end of Jason's "Take Back the Park" viewing--I guess I'm sort of a mascot now!

I got there and it was a bit of a bust, due to the clouds. There were about 5 other men besides Jason--he introduced me and then he and I talked for a bit. After the interview came out the day before, Jason had emailed me, calling me "very brave" and he followed up on this. I demurred a bit--I'm not traumatized, and nothing lasting happened to me, other than radicalizing me even MORE about rape and violence against women. It's not brave, it's just facts. At any rate, he told me that he thinks the interview was not just on local radio, but on "All Things Considered"--which is national! Wow! He thinks this because some friends of his heard the interview in New jersey, out of range of local NYC radio stations. Pretty cool!

I got home and heard the AMAZING NEWS!!!! YAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!! So, so happy for all my gay friends and family--we truly are all brothers and sisters in the eyes of God! So happy that the New York legislators did the right thing. It is TIME! I started weeping, reading the explosion of joy of Facebook. Then the historian in me was even more moved reading what the legislators had said to explain their affirmative votes--this especially got to me:

Republican Senator Mark Grisanti then spoke about his struggle before coming to his decision to vote for the bill. "A man can be wiser today than he was yesterday," he said.

This is literally bringing tears to my eyes. This is how progress is made. This is how we make things better, not just for us but for those around us. This is the difficult, incremental process of social evolution. There has seemed to be so much anger and hatred for the past 20 years in politics--so many wedge issues, so much pointless divisiveness, so much cruelty. (Specifically, I'm thinking of shitty, godless Pat Robertson blaming 9-11 on feminism and homosexuality. That's not partisan, that's not ideological or true to your religious beliefs, that's just being a nasty, cruel piece of shit.) I'm not kidding myself that it's all ended--I know it hasn't. But by God, in the past 3 years, we've elected a black man to our highest office, and we've just doubled the number of gay people in this country who can be married. Even the setbacks are being nullified, like when Prop 8 was overturned in the courts. I love reading about the '60s--there was so much incredible heroism in the civil rights and anti-war movements, and so much history was made. It happened so quickly. My friends, these are our sixties. This is our time, our chance to change the world for the better. To grow, to accomplish--to change the world.

By the way, I just called my state senator and thanked him for voting yes on Friday. His assistant was thrilled, thanked me and told me also to email him, which I will.

Saturday was the final performance of Sweeter Dreams--Christine was there, as was my friend Linda, as well as Jason and Caroline. Jason was right up front laughing at everything, it was great. I had a little fun with the interview scene and finally FINALLY got a laugh on my throwaway snark on Joanna Remarque. I made two small adjustments--I emphasized my criticism of her in my first monologue just a little bit more, to set it up, and then in the interview I made the eye roll bigger and FINALLY got a laugh! I also added a new obnoxiously correct pronunciation--Spielberg is now Schpeelberg, the way the Germans would say it. Heather told me they all laughed backstage when they heard that.

After the show Jason and I got Mexican food and just had a nice long convo. I had plans to have dinner with Tim so I raced hom and got ready, then I met him at Houston's by the Lipstick Building (one of my favorite buildings in the city). We talked forevs, had a lovely time. He thinks the cop rape verdict is complete bullshit, BTW. We went to a bar for a nightcap and the Yankees game was on--they showed a guy sliding headfirst in slomo and I commented that I'd done hook slides (and of course regular slides) but I'd never slid head first, I was too nervous about messing up my face.

Sunday I slept quite late--finally got up and cleaned and got ready for my Sunday softball game. We played the Northwestern team and HAMMERED them. The final score was 12-1. Yikes! I hit .500, plus a sacrifice grounder. And I was part of a double-play--there was a runner at 2nd who was caught between the bases when our center fielder caught it. I yelled "Throw it here, he has to tag up!" And when I got the ball, ran his ass down, even though I could've just ran back to 2nd base. But what fun would that have been? :) It's more fun to tag them!

At one point I was on 1st base and someone popped it up to the infield--the 2nd and 1st base players weren't communicating too well, so I gambled, thinking they wouldn't catch it. Well, the 2nd basewoman DID catch it so I was in trouble since I hadn't tagged up! I DOVE back to 1st base just under the tag--so now I can say yes, I HAVE slid head first!

After the game 5 of us hung around for batting practice and then we went over to a bar when the Northwestern team told us they'd be. And--I think one of my teammates was flirting with me? Sometimes it's hard to tell. But he seems to direct a lot of attention my way--he's always teasing me or asking me questions, and then he was comparing our gloves (his is huge and expensive, mine is very old--I've had it since I was 8-9--and NOT-expensive) he said something like "I'll only buy her a good one if she goes on a date with me." Um, what?! I'm just saying, my female radar is pinging. He is cute, though. Anyway, we all had pitchers and maued wings. Nom, nom, nom...

We had our first performance last night which was effectively our tech as well, and was certainly the first performance of any kind of front of an audience. It definitely threw me a bit--I had to wait for a bit of laughter on some of my lines, I had to think more and time things differently which normally I love (I love the technique of comedy) but I was so nervous that I dropped a small chunk toward the end of the opening monologue. Not a huge amount and I covered it well enough but I know the slides beyond me are dependent on what I'm saying. Argh! So frustrating, I know that monologue, I can rattle it off in my sleep. I apologized to Adam backstage (he's running the slides) but he said no sweat, he was able to adjust pretty quickly.

Had another almost-flub during the Oscar nomination speech which, although it's so short, is probably my most difficult monologue, since there's no consequence or narrative to it, it's just names and titles. There was a slightly-long pause between the second and third Best Actor nominees--I almost jumped to the 4th one but then it came to me. SWEATING. I think this flub was triggered because when I walked out for the Oscar nom speech, the light was different and I kept thinking "Am I in the light all the way?" and then "I don't think I am, should I cross and block the slide show?"

I rather love my costumes--well, most of them are my clothes anyway but I quite like one of the suits I wear (not mine), a charcoal-grey wollen double-breasted suit. It's sexy-frumpy.

This is a nice group of people--a small cast, just us four, but we get along well. It's a little odd because I share so little stage time with them.

Jesse Rosbrow was waiting after the show and he said it took him a minute to realize--hey, in real lfe someone speaking this long (my opening, two-page monologue) on camera would have a teleprompter (instead of memorizing the copy). I said YEAH.

Afterward I needed strong drink--we tried to hit up Acme but they were closed (but not closed--I checked their hours, they close at 11:30 on Thursdays) so we went to the place next door, called the Smile. Very cute and I loved the ale I got but their menu is a little frou-frou for post-show nomming. At any rate their kitchen had already closed so I couldn't order food--STARVING. It's a good thing I maued a Magnum Doble* on the way to the theater, because that was pretty much my dinner.

*I discovered Magnum bars when I did my cruise ship contract in Spain, they are CRACKTASTIC. Ice cream is very big in Spain, you see heladerias everywhere on the streets. My favorite Magnum bar is the Doble--sooooo much caramel. It's vanilla ice cream on a stick, covered with chocolate, then lots of caramel, then more chocolate. I always tried to basically just eat the caramel with a little bit of ice cream to accompany it. This is easily accomplished in Southern Spain because it gets very melty and you can just pull off the layers with your teeth. Mmm, caramel...this contract was also where I discovered the incredible deliciousness that is banoffee pie. Also j'adore the cheesy ads with Rachel Bilson.