ceebeegee: (Default)
So I had kind of a difficult train ride home from my classes in Lower Manhattan this morning. I boarded the 2 train on Chambers Street and immediately noticed a dude hanging out between the cars, which is obviously very dangerous and not allowed. Once the train started moving he opened the doors and came into the cars, and he was HUGE. A very, very big guy, and he sat down on my side, just a few seats away from me. And dude was weird--he kept shifting around and moving around and turning and staring at me. I got a weird vibe from the whole thing, and I believe in listening to my instincts, so at the next stop I moved to the next train down.
 
This train was also relatively empty but I noticed a bag lady sitting at the far corner so I sat down in the middle and pulled out my book. I read and noticed a family came on at the next stop--a mom and 3 young kids (a girl around age 6, two boys around age 4-5). And I also noticed the bag lady was quite vocal, screaming--literally screaming--about how YOU FUCKED XYZ PERSON and that sort of thing. As I was noticing this, I saw the mom noticing it. The kids, especially the two young boys, looked freaked out. The mom leaned forward and was telling the kids "the lady is mentally ill--that means she is sick in the brain. We're going to switch cars at the next stop." She was handling it very well, very casual, but the kids were still unnerved by the whole thing so I leaned over and started conversing with them. They had on Irish rugby tee-shirts so I asked them about that. "I really like your shirts. I have visited Ireland and I just love that country. Have you ever been there?" As it turned out, they had--all 3 kids are half-Irish and visit the country twice a year. We entered into a grand conversation about Ireland and Mom gave me a grateful look. When we pulled into the next station Mom and the kids and I exited the car--they went in one direction, I went in the other (toward the last car, the one in which I typically want to be when the train pulls into 110th Street).
 
This turned out to be THE WORST car of all three. JFC this was seriously the Freak Train. Cat Stevens had the Peace Train, I had the Freak Train. There was a guy in the corner, young guy, couldn't have been older than very early 20s if that, with a bike. Eventually he picked up his bike and started walking to the other end of the car, and didn't give a shit about the other passengers. Like, he was actively trying to brush up against us with his bike. I pulled up as he passed, and then he approached an older dude--maybe late 50s--and just started swinging at him, screaming at him, slamming the glass of the windows next to the guy's face. EVERYONE flipped out and I remember yelling "Jesus fucking Christ!" and grabbing the pepper spray I always carry. The guy was screaming at the older dud, and screaming at us. He still had the bike. He was kind of menacing the car with the bike but also kind of looking around for validation. The older guy was terrified--we all were--but would not move and GOOD FOR HIM. Because fuck anti-social shits like this dude. Fuck them hard. Anti-Social Shit came toward me, looking as though he was going to throw the bike at me or something, and I said "If you come near me, I will spray you."* What I really wanted to do was call him on his shit, push his buttons, but I figured it was better not to engage. He did recognize the spray and kept his distance.

He and I had a three-or-so minute staredown as we approached 110th Street. At one point he started to lurch toward me and I thought he was going to throw the bike at me. He was also babbling about how the older dude "was lucky" and "I can't even walk down the STREET!!!" I just made sure he saw that pepper spray. Dude, I don't GAF about your problems. The moment you start threatening some older dude with violence, you lose my sympathy. When we pulled in of course he ran across the platform like the coward he is to catch the downtown train. Another dude and I found a transit officer and reported the whole thing. (I doubt anything will happen.) The other dude and I were bonding about this sort of thing--it was actually rather sweet, there was a sort of world-weary "New York transit, ain't this some shit?" And he pointed out that my backpack was unzipped and did I want him to zip it up? 

Honestly, the most remarkable thing about it was that ten minutes later, I'd completely put it out of my mind instead of worrying endlessly over it.

*And part of me later realized--you should've said "if you go near anyone, I will spray you." I had a weapon, I should've used it to protect the rest of the car.  At least I was able to protect my half of the car.
ceebeegee: (Default)
Oh, this week from hell just gets better and better and better. Talia has been in the hospital for several days and they thought it would be best if she came home tonight--the clinic is closed for over 12 hours on Saturday and Sunday nights and they didn't want her to be alone that long. So I'm walking to the clinic, big L.L. Bean bag on one arm, my cat carrier on the other and as soon as I turn onto Park Avenue I noticed there is a kid nearby walking in the same direction. No older than 12, and he seems to be walking about my pace, I noticed that he never got ahead of me. So, annoyed, I slow down and noticed that he slowed down as well. I speed up, noticed he sped up as well. There was really nothing I could do other than stop I suppose, you can't exactly turn around and tell a total stranger stop walking near me.

Then a few blocks later I feel something. This nasty little fucking shit stain had the temerity to grab my butt. I turned around and absolutely <b>roared</b> at him and he looked terrified. I chased him for most of the block absolutely screaming at him YOU ARE A COWARD I WILL FIND YOU IF YOU TRY THAT AGAIN I WILL KICK YOUR ASS LITTLE BOY IF YOU EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN I WILL KICK YOUR ASS LITTLE BOY
 
Just--ewww. What the fuck is <i>wrong</i> with you! 12 years old and you're grabbing strange women? Stalking them for five blocks? What the fuck is wrong with you, you nasty little shit?
 
What a fucking birthday week, man. Scammed on Saturday for $100, my cat nearly dies and goes into the hospital costing me thousands of dollars and then some little nasty piece of shit acts like a nasty <i>entitled</i> piece of shit.

Updated to add: Just filed a police report. I doubt they'll catch the shitstain but if when he does it again, it will have established a pattern.
ceebeegee: (Default)
 Have had an utterly shit weekend, all things considered—and the gift just keeps on giving today.
 
It started with my corporate game Friday night. None of the guys on the team responded or came so I had to dig up a bunch of subs just so we could have a game. One of my friends, who monitors a soccer email group, sent out an email for me saying I needed subs and a goalie. Several guys responded, including one guy who was the first to get to the field house. He was an older player and I could tell right off the bat he wasn’t very good (just generally not very coordinated, kind of awkward and flail-y). Angela (my friend) was also asking guys at the field house if they wanted to play and quite a few said yes. So we had a team and lots of subs, which was obviously good. Older Guy asks me “do you actually need subs?” I thought he was asking if I needed HIM, like if we didn’t really need him, he could leave or do something else or whatever. I shrugged and said “well, we did—we are pretty full right now though” and he starts yelling at me, saying “why did you send out that email then? I thought you needed players, I came a long way for this!” Like, back the fuck UP. I don’t care how far away you came, that’s on you.  I said “Angela sent out the email and a lot of people responded but they didn’t show up until just before the game and she knew I was still worried, so she recruited even more players.” He’s like “well, do you need me or not?” I said “what do YOU want to do? Do you want to play? THEN PLAY. No one’s kicking you out! And get off my case!” I really wanted to say “you are not good enough to cop this kind of attitude and the pickup community is small—you will be remembered if you act obnoxiously.” It really upset me at the beginning of the game—dude, I don’t even know you, calm down. I absolutely detest it when older men act like that. After the game (he wasn’t terrible but he was far and away the weakest and slowest player out there) he tried to make nice with me but man, never again. If he responds to another mass email seeking subs, I’m ignoring it.
 
So then Saturday after my classes, I was walking through Harlem on my way back to my apartment, and going up Frederick Douglass Boulevard. FDB was really blossomed in the past 5 years or so—tons of great new restaurants and lounges, all different types. I text Ryan “hey, it’s a gorgeous day—wanna meet for lunch?” So we decide to meet at 116 and FDB. I get there and Ryan comes up to me—he says he was waiting for me and a guy came up to him, coming on to him, and was asking him to get a drink. Ryan said he was waiting for a friend and the guy said bring your friend, I’ll buy them a drink as well. Said he was in town for a wedding and he hated to drink alone. Ryan said to me we don’t have to if you’d rather not but I thought, why not? We all sit down together and the guy was staring at me, absolutely hung on my every word. But he said he was gay and I thought he was trying to impress Ryan and pick him up. The guy orders another round of drinks and then Ryan and I decide why not, we’ll eat here. It seemed like a good conversation. Then the guy goes over to the waitress and when he comes back, he’s slipping a receipt into his pocket—trying to look like he was being discreet but I sensed he wanted me to notice. Then the food arrives and a few minutes later he wants to go out front for a cigarette and asks Ryan to join him.
 
I wait FOREVER for them to come back—at least 15-20 minutes. Finally Ryan comes back—alone. He says the guy told him he had paid for the bill with his “corporate card” but he had to meet his “weed dealer” and asked Ryan to pay for our portions, in cash. He asked for $70 and Ryan immediately balked. Ryan said oh no, you ordered those rounds of drinks, not us. We’ll pay for our food and that’s it. Ryan said he would give him $40 but he didn’t have cash—the guy said there’s an ATM machine a few blocks away. (This, I think, is when I might have figured it out [I say might because someone tried to scam me like this once and as soon as they mentioned the phrase ”ATM machine” something clicked and it felt wrong somehow. Like, you should not be directing me to an ATM]. But Ryan had a lot of information to process, I don’t blame him for not picking up on this.) The guy was talkingtalkingtalking the entire way, Ryan gets him $40 and the guy says he’ll be right back.
 
I sat there, processing this, and said “What do we do now?” Ryan said he’ll be back and I thought about it. I said “Ryan, I don’t think he’s going to come back—that’s a pretty egregious etiquette breach, asking for cash like that, even if he did foot the bill. I think he might be embarrassed.” Then it occurred to me if he doesn’t come back, he might’ve stiffed the waitress so I call her over and ask if he tipped her. She looks startled and says: he didn’t pay the bill at all.
 
Ryan and I sit there, stunned. The waitress is very concerned and asks us what’s the deal, and we explain to her what happened. She goes to get the manager and I tell Ryan the fairest thing would be for them to take off his portion and we just pay for our meals, but we shouldn’t count on that. Manager comes, we tell her everything and she decides to take off one round of drinks and his meal. The bill comes to $70-something and I put on a whopping tip (on the original amount, not the adjusted total) which the waitress had to clarify “are you sure?” I said you’ve been so helpful and I’m not going to stiff you on the service you provided to him, even if he is a thief, that’s not your fault. We went to police to file a report but the guy to whom we spoke was utterly unhelpful (if polite) and was very discouraging, saying the guy hadn’t used force, it wasn’t a crime, a judge wouldn’t do anything. I said who cares about a judge? We know we’re not going to see Ryan’s money again—but what about informing the community that a scammer is running around? The cop was saying to Ryan, well you gave him that money, he didn’t actually rob you. I said--then why did you go after the squeegee guys in the '90s? Why do you go after the costumed people in Times Square? It’s not a crime to ask for a tip—why would you come down hard on them but you don’t care about scammers who actually lie? It's a quality of life issue, which is exactly what the broken windows theory is designed to address--that little crimes turn into bigger ones. In the end the cop refused to do anything so as we walked out I loudly remarked about how he didn’t want to do his job, even though crime is so low they have nothing else to do except escort 12 year old boys in handcuffs (which we saw when we first entered). Hey, I might as well use white privilege (I knew the cop wouldn’t come down on me for that remark) for good.
 
Then yesterday. Here’s the context: I went away for Thanksgiving and as usual, Michael fed the babies. When I came back I noticed Tatia was hardly moving—for two days (Monday and Tuesday) she literally barely stirred from my pillow. I had to shove food under her nose to get her to eat anything. Very concerned, I made an appointment at the vet for her. My current vet is on Lex and 94th—they’re great but they’re expensive, $97 per visit. I first took the babies there in fall of ’13 and it was obviously a bit of a hit, especially because they were recommending blood tests for Tatia ($200+) and tooth extraction (much more $$$). At that time I flat-out could not afford that, whatsoever. (I'm doing better now but this is still ending up to be quite a lot for me.)

So since then I haven’t taken them back for a checkup, thinking hey, they’re indoor cats, it’s not like they’ll get hit by a car.  So anyway, as this past week progressed, Tatia was doing better—moving around, climbing into my lap. But I kept the appointment, which was yesterday.  They did a regular checkup and then recommended blood work and a fluid injection (she was dehydrated). I nixed the fluid injection (the least important thing—she wasn't terribly dehydrated) but okayed the blood work, so the bill was $327 (checkup, bloodwork, plus 2 cans of AD, a special super-fattening and irresistible wet food for cats who have gone off their food).
 
The vet called today. Lambkin has kidney disease and a bladder infection, so I have to bring her in tomorrow for an antibiotic. Plus they wanted to “do a culture” on her to make sure they were getting her the right antibiotic (the one tomorrow is a general one—she needs one pretty badly). The culture is $160, plus $50 for the first antibiotic. I thought about it and decided to go ahead and get the culture (that was optional--the doctor was very respectful of my financial concerns--but recommended). In for a penny, in for a metric fuckton, right?
 
The kicker is—I have insurance for them. But it’s contingent upon their receiving a yearly checkup, so they have a baseline of health for the animal. Which I skipped last year, because I couldn’t afford it. (And I’d forgotten about that insurance requirement.) My options are not good—I can either ask the vet to back me up if I say I took Tatia for her annual exam which they might refuse (and which they would be entirely in the right to do so.  That’s a lot to ask). Or I throw myself on the mercy of my insurance company, and I don’t expect them to give in. (Although if they do I’ll just go ahead and cancel her policy—not out of spite but I might as well save myself that monthly expense.)  $500+ in one week for Tatia. Plus the restaurant thing. Jesus.
 
WHAT YE FUCK, UNIVERSE?!

But at least Lambkin is doing better. She's eating, she's moving around, she's cuddling, and she's doing one of my favorite stunts--when I'm in bed but awake (like when I first wake up, or first lie down), she loves to walk over to the pillow and stand with front and back paws on opposite sides of my face, essentially straddling my face. What kills me is how she pulls this off--she kind of looks around, like she's considering something, like hmm, what to do, what to do, decisions, decisions. Meanwhile her BELLY FULL OF FUR is hanging right in my face, smothering me. And Tatia just pretends she doesn't even notice.  This sadistic game of hers is how I know she's doing a little better. When your elderly cat stops trying to kill you, that's when you know they're in trouble.

Paris

Nov. 16th, 2015 09:57 pm
ceebeegee: (Default)
 So Friday. Along with the rest of the world I was obviously horrified and sickened and saddened by the news I started picking up online around five o'clock.  I went over to the woman for whom I work on Fridays and said "have you seen the news? Do you know what's going on in Paris?" We both started monitoring news web sites. I remember when just 66 dead (CNN) seemed like a ridiculous exaggeration. Absolutely horrifying. My brother's in-laws (he is married to a Parisienne) are all safe, thank God. 

Friday was a little crazy for me. I was struggling with my reaction to this horrific news situation but I also had a soccer game with my corporate team. I was actually really immersed into that and was grateful for the escape from the sadness. After the game I remembered again what had happened in Paris and immediately grabbed my phone to see what (new) news there was. Then I was asked to join another game which went really well (in both games I was the lead scorer). Again, I was very grateful for the escape.  I'll talk more about that later but it was a strange juxtaposition of feeling like a citizen of the world, compelled to partake of the world's tragedies, and feeling like a very privileged American, who can forget about stuff like this with frivolous activities.
 
The next day I had classes in the morning and then I had to hop on the bus to get home for a very brief trip so I could partake of my high school reunion. (Again, more about that later but it was a lot of fun.) But on the bus ride home I noticed two things--first, a lot of people were changing their profile picture on Facebook to add the tricouleur overlay. (Which I also wanted to do but was unable to manage via cell phone.) The other thing was that a lot of posts coming out about additional attacks that had happened in other locations by ISIS (i.e., Daesh), in Kenya and in Beirut. And it is obviously very important to point out this as well--for whatever reason the media didn't seem to push these stories as hard so I was unaware of them. That is absolutely worth discussing.

But there was also a lot of finger-pointing and a lot of pretty harsh statements (I saw one really offputting article on HuffPo today) about how racist people must be if they cared more about Paris than about these other attacks. I don't really take it personally because I know that these things are meant as a response to a trend and not to me personally but for the record I will say--I speak French. I have extended French family. I have a lot of French ancestry on my mother's side, and I was raised to be proud of that. And perhaps most importantly and most obviously: I have been to Paris. I daresay a decent number of Americans have. I have never been to Beirut, nor to Kenya. If I had visited those place, the attacks would've been much more on my radar and I would've had a response to them. If somebody had attacked Tangiers or Casablanca, two cities where I visited--in Tangiers's case I've been there many, many times –– I would've been just as horrified. I think it's a little ridiculous to beancount and micromanage people's heartfelt reactions to tragedy. Yes, if this were a perfect world we would always respond the same way to tragedies near and tragedies far, but right now that's not the way the human heart works. We tend to respond to those tragedies which are closest to us or to which we have some kind of personal connection. Again, along with everything else, I have visited Paris. It's a beautiful city--lots of history, gorgeous architecture, the world's most popular musical takes place there. *Shrug* I feel that that accounts for the reaction on Saturday and I'm not sure there's anything to be gained by trying to shame people into reacting to something else. It honestly strikes me as a weird version of the Oppression Olympics. Just let people react honestly and stop trying to police their grief unless it's overtly problematic.
 
I was also disappointed to read an article today that included a long series of comments about how stupid and silly people were to, say, add the tricouleur overlay to their FB profile pics. The way I saw it was--after 9-11, I was devastated, like everyone else in NYC, DC and the rest of the country. Shortly thereafter, people started forwarding the emails (remember our lives before social media?) showing how the rest of the world responded. I saw pictures of candlelight vigils from people all over Europe. And the Middle East--including Palestinians (that did quite a lot to me, after seeing that horrible video of Palestinians dancing around and handing out candy after hearing about 9-11). Country after country, culture after culture were standing up, saying we stand with you. We reject this. Nous sommes tous Americains. That mattered to me. That made me feel better. It comforted me, standing in my apartment, wailing to the ceiling, asking God how could you do this? What is the point of all that death? I wanted to send the same message back to our French friends. This is wrong. We stand with you. We are your friends. What is the harm? If someone wants to post a picture of themselves in front of the Tour Eiffel, why is that a problem? If someone mis-translates a statement of solidarity, who cares? You know what they meant. I just don't get the need to sneer at any effort that isn't perfect.

Aujour'dhui, nous sommes tous francais. Nous sommes avec vous. Nous vous aimons. Nous sommes vos amis. Nous marchons avec vous. Nous surmonterons.
ceebeegee: (Default)
So I had an interesting afternoon.

I had a two-hour window between classes so I got lunch and went to hang out in Washington Square Park, which was packed with people and lovely. I'm sitting on the grass there in my stocking feet (shoe issues, podiatrist visit tomorrow) and noticed a couple of possibly-homeless guys maybe 50 feet away, talking loudly, swaying back and forth, the usual.  I'm working on a couple of classes and look up to see one of the PHG getting in the face (literally) of an older guy (60s?), who had a dog on a leash nearby by. This was right near me, maybe 10 feet. PHG is yelling at Older Guy, "your DOG bit me in the FACE, what the fuck are you gonna do about it?" I see he does indeed have a small wound on his nose that's bleeding. OG is backing away, not saying much and PHG hauls off and SOCKS OG in the face, knocking him to the ground. OG is trying to stand back up and stumbles back down again. PHG is still yelling at him, "WHAT are you gonna DO about it?" I jump up, pepper spray in hand, and jump between them, asking OG "are you okay? Should I call 911?" PHG is lunging forward and I stuck out a hand, saying "leave him alone!" (Like--CRINGE, Clara. "Leave him alone"? Couldn't I have said something more authoritative like keep your distance? Oy.) OG said to me "no, I'm not okay..." and I whipped out my phone. The best part was when PHG moved backwards at one point and came within range of the doggie who was still on the leash attached to a fence post. Dog went to TOWN on PHG's ankle. Doggie saw PHG attacking his human and he was having none of it. (I was very proud of him--good doggie! Don't come near me but good doggie!) 

OG take doggie and stumbles out of the park. PHG is lurching after him, and now he's really bellowing. He's screaming at people on the bench in front of me and I'm on the phone with 911, giving a description of PHG (I'm sure they could hear him on the phone), telling them exactly where in the park we were. The dispatcher asked me "what does he look like--is he black or Hispanic?" "Uh, actually he's white!" She said they'd send out a call (or whatever they said) but as it turned out there were already cops in the park, pretty close by, who kind of strolled over. Good timing, guys! Would've been nice if you'd stepped in earlier. A few other spectators and I spoke to the cops and eventually PHG showed up, cops in tow, handcuffed.  The cops asked me where the victim had gone and I pointed--they thought he'd disappeared because of the dog, because the dog had bitten someone. The other spectators and I were discussing this--I was saying that anyone with a lick of sense doesn't just shove their head toward a strange dog. You ask the owner if you can pet the dog, you ask if it's friendly. And then you slowly extend your hand to the dog so it can smell you. Don't ever put your face near a strange dog. Dogs are not humans, they are subject to their instincts, they will react unpredictably. That's the risk you take when you put yourself into their space. I would've had no sympathy for him even before he attacked OG and was screaming at him.

The kicker was that 30 minutes later PHG is strolling around, free. The cops didn't book him. I get that the victim vanished but you had at least 30 witnesses and he ATTACKED the guy. He'll undoubtedly do it again. I guess they didn't want the administrative hassle. Only in New York!

WTFriday

Jan. 31st, 2014 10:28 am
ceebeegee: (Default)
Okay, so WTFUCK is going on with Bruce Jenner? He's obviously got a thing for plastic surgery but is he seriously transgender? Is he leading up to a sex change operation? The weird thing to me is how famous the guy still is--and kids, let me tell you (as I sit myself down heavily using my cane), I remember waaaaay back when Bruce Jenner FIRST became famous, when he won the gold medal in the decathlon in '76 at the Montreal Olympics. He and Nadia Comaneci became household names, and they were the only two athletes I remember being aware of after those Games. After Nadia every little girl in America was doing cartwheels and roundoffs on her front lawn--aw, the '70s! I remember my friend Sharon swearing to me and our friend Beth that she'd done an aerial (a cartwheel without hands) and we called. her. OUT. ("Nuh-UH! I don't believe you!") I was proud of my roundoffs though, I got air time on them :)

ANYWAY. Bruce Jenner was VERY famous after the Olympics but, although I knew he was an athlete, he was better-known for being kind of a famewhore. You saw him EVERYWHERE--on the Wheaties box, in commercials, in magazines, on TV. I have a vivid memory of me, little kid me, doing a joke for my parents where I would run in slo-mo waving my hands (like an Olympics victory lap), pretend to trip and then pop up again instantly, still waving--and what I was spoofing was his apparent need for attention. (On the other hand being an Olympian is an awesome accomplishment and to the victor go the spoils--if he could make money after spending years training for the decathlon, good for him.) Anyway it is kind of amazing he's still on the front pages literally generations later!

And WTF is up with that Knox verdict?! My jaw literally dropped open when I saw that the Italian legal system had embarrassed itself yet AGAIN. Guys, there is NO EVIDENCE, zip, nada, none that proves Amanda or Raffaele has anything to do with this. But there is TONS of physical evidence, including all kinds of DNA, that prove the drifter with the violent record who tried to leave the country afterward, did it. But by the time you found out about him, you'd already committed to your weird Satanic sex ritual theory--so you went to the drifter and gave him a LIGHTER sentence in exchange for him fingering two people he didn't even know! Come on, guys, simple logic here. Do you really think a couple of kids could thoroughly wipe a violent crime scene of their own DNA, seen and unseen, but leave the third participant's all over the room? Come on, guys. I can't help but feel this is the Italian male ego at work here--they're furious about looking so stupid, they're pissed that their shenanigans in the press and their fatuousness and inept police work led to two innocent kids being railroaded and by God, they will have the last word. They even ADDED time to her sentence! Completely ridiculous. I can't even imagine what she and Raffaele are going through--if I'd been him, I would've left the country as soon as the appeals court pronounced me innocent back in 2011. Now they've gone and arrested the poor guy again.
ceebeegee: (Magical Dance)
I was going to order curtains online but couldn't wait--I went to Bed Bath and Beyond on Tuesday. The lined curtains I'd picked out didn't really work--they were lined but not officially "room darkening" curtains. So I went again yesterday and found some better ones and FINALLY this morning for the first time in weeks I did not wake up as the sun rose. I've been exhausted for weeks now because of this--yay! I can sleep! Kelly, I still would love to order curtains from you though--I can just buy one of those "room darkening" liners and attach them to the back to make them suitable for the room. Can I email you?

Man, this weather is pretty monotonous--if it's not raining every day, it's this oppressive PERSONAL heat. I have a soccer game tonight--it won't be too bad after 5, but I'm glad it's not in the afternoon.

Have been QUITE sick ever since Friday--today's the first day I haven't been coughing up a lung. I had a game Sunday and flat out told my team I am no good and should only go in for someone who's exhausted. I went in once or twice and it was terrible--I coud barely breathe, was gasping for air, there was so much congestion in my lungs. Monday I was especially miserable and probably should've stayed home but since I don't get sick days...it was also terrible because I had a weird incident in the morning. I have a *very* high gag reflex and certain things will trigger it--most notably bodily fluids from someone else. Vomit, urine, blood, phlegm, etc. Tatia had an incident with the litter box that morning and when I went to clean it up, I couldn't help it and vomited. What was even worse was throughout the day, every time I thought of it, I started to gag again. AWFUL. Between that and the exhausting coughing fits, Monday was pretty stressful. I've had this problem (gag reflex) since I was a kid but it's only gotten worse as I've grown older. It is mostly a mental thing--I try to fight it by thinking of something very different (lemons or citrus fruits, or ginger--just thinking of it--seems to help short-circuit the problem sometimes).

Re: the Martin verdict. I'm obviously very, very upset. I cannot stop thinking about it, this is a terrible tragedy. I think the jury really let Trayvon down, and that interview with the one who talked to Anderson Cooper--she sounds like a completely oblivious idiot. Who makes a fetish of how much they don't follow the media (uh, I haven't had TV for six years but I strongly doubt that the Today show didn't have ANYTHING about this case)--and then TWO DAYS LATER has a book deal????? This woman's husband is an ATTORNEY and she didn't know anything about the case? Really???? I call bullshit. I am wondering if she wanted to get on the jury.

Jesus wept. It's so depressing. How can you possibly justify not holding Zimmerman responsible at ALL? Not even manslaughter, really?
ceebeegee: (Southwest cactus)
I'm very, very nervous about the Trayvon Martin trial. Very nervous that boy will not get justice for his murder.

Very nervous. Way, way too many racists are cheering on this wannabe couldn't-hack-it cop. I'm hoping the all-female jury will 1) identify with Trayvon's mother and 2) see right through Zimmerman's BS "ooh, I thought he was a criminal" story. Hey, guys? When women see someone who "might be a criminal" we CROSS THE STREET. If you are genuinely worried for your safety you GET AWAY FROM THE GUY. You don't FOLLOW Him against all orders--you don't pull out your prosthetic penis and start shit--YOU DON'T ENGAGE.

The whole story just makes me so sad. Angry, but mostly sad. The murderer has gone on record as saying he doesn't regret what he did, or any of the choices that night. Jesus, dude--a kid is DEAD because of you. What kind of a sociopath are you--really, you don't regret that?

Very worried. I'd like to say if he's acquitted, he'll be a pariah but he does have supporters--he'll turn into some kind of psycho hero for the Stormfront crowd.
ceebeegee: (soccer)
Man, this shit in Boston is unreal. The entire area is on lockdown, I can't even imagine how scared kids must be right now. It feels like the DC area during the sniper shootings, and possibly a similar dynamic--two losers propping each other up. Ugh. We have enough violent losers here ALREADY--we sure don't need people from outside the country *moving* here to be violent!

In lighter news, I had a lovely night of soccer last night, played at the same field as two weeks ago, the new full-fields at Brooklyn Bridge Park. GOD, that view is EPIC. Like something out of a movie--these gorgeous new fields with all of Southern Manhattan and the Brooklyn Bridge just across the water. Just gorgeous, it looks like the Towering Inferno (before the building catches fire).

I was asked to sub in for a game (they have to have at least 2 women on the field for this league) so I showed up and suited up. I really am Jekyll and Hyde on the field--I'm either not so good (usually due to exhaustion) or I'm ON. And man, last night was definitely the latter--I have RARELY played that well. I have no idea why, because yesterday I was pretty tired and didn't get much sleep the night before. But whatever, it came together somehow, and every pass was perfect, literally I made only two errors the entire game. The guys on the team, once they saw I could play, were passing it to me all the time, and at halftime one of them came up to me and said "EXCELLENT." I got off a few shots on goal in the first half but it finally happened in the second--I did this weird little shot from behind (i.e., I wasn't facing the goal, just kind of twisted the ball around with my right foot). It was an odd shot, not that strong but I bent it nicely (a good shot will curve) and it just kind of...curved past the goalie's hands. Bend it like Barton! :)

The other team wasn't bad--they got off some great shots that juuuust went over, or smacked the crossbar or whatever. I was chatting with a girl on the other team, saying you guys are great you're just spectacularly unlucky tonight! She said something in response and then told me (nicely) don't score again! It was cute because tensions were a-running high--several of the guy were facing off and what not. Guys, it's just a friendly league.

After the game one of the players was really, REALLY pushing for me and the other girls sub to join the team. I mean, he actually followed the captain around to push for it. I said hey, any time you need me I am up to sub. I love the weeknight games, it's a nice thing to do after work and that PARK. That VIEW. Plus there's a Shake Shack on the way home :)

Can I just say how incredibly gratifying it is to be RECRUITED like that? These guys are all very good players--and needless to say much younger than I am. It just feels awesome, is what I'm saying.

I knew it!

Apr. 9th, 2013 12:11 pm
ceebeegee: (Mad Men)
The Groovy Murders--when Mad Men's premiere skipped over the Summer of Love but ended up in a dingy Village building, I immediately thought of the Groovy Murders (aka the hangover after the Summer of Love). Oh, such an awful story--I first heard about this during a documentary on TV (PBS?) about the Summer of Love and they talked about how very quickly the Haight turned from this idyllic hippie sanctuary into way-too-crowded, smelly and unsafe. How quickly the Summer of Love soured (in a matter of weeks, really)--and one example was the Groovy Murders. Linda especially stayed with me because she had such a WASPy privileged background--she even rode, for God's sake! Just another kid trying to figure things out and was murdered by a couple of "drifters." Awful and very sad.
ceebeegee: (Massachusetts foliage)

This story about the couple killed on Saturday gets more depressing every day. For those who don't live in the NYC area--an Orthodox couple was killed in a car crash on their way to the hospital; the wife was 6-7 months pregnant. The paramedics managed to save the baby (he was delivered prematurely) who was listed in stable condition.

Today I find out that the driver of the other car fled the scene on foot (burn in hell, you awful, awful person)...and that the poor baby died. Oh, so, so sad. Rest in peace, little one and your parents. Réquiem ætérnam dona eis Dómine; et lux perpétua lúceat eis. Requiéscant in pace.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.

Sadness

Dec. 17th, 2012 10:58 am
ceebeegee: (Snow on the river)
I just...I can't.  This is just so goddamn horrible.  Someone posted a collage of the students and teachers on Facebook last night and I couldn't, just couldn't stop crying.  This is so awful and I'm not even involved.  I can't even imagine the hell the families are experiencing.  Kid-sized coffins?  20 of them?  How do you even function?  Their agony is mirrored and magnified every time they turn around--it's on TV, the newspapers and in their homes and streeets and churches.

I was talking to my Mom on the phone last night and I told her--as of now, gun control has officially become my third activist, deal-breaker issue.  The first and second are women's rights (especially abortion) and gay rights.  I vote along those records; I talk those issues up.  And now it's gun control.*  I will be giving money to the Brady campaign and the Colaition to Stop Gun Violence, and I'll be writing every elected official who represents me--including the President--to tell them if they don't start standing up to the NRA, they will lose my vote.  As far as I'm concerned the NRA has blood on its hands.  (I will never, ever forget Charleton Heston ranting about his right to own a gun 10 days after and just a few miles away from the Columbine massacre.  Just unbelievable.)


*And I say this as someone who actually likes shooting guns.  I enjoy it, and I'm good at it (I earned a ton of patches and ranks when I was a camp counselor, including marksman and sharpshooter.  I don't wear them because I hate the NRA, and they're the ones who issued the patches).  But if every firearm, including handguns, were made illegal and removed from the US somehow, that wouldn't affect my lifestyle in the slightest.  When I was attacked, it wasn't a gun that saved me--it was because I did something the attacker didn't expect, I fought back and yelled.  I didn't even have any pepper spray, much less a weapon.  If people should be carrying anything to protect themselves, it should be pepper spray/mace, not a gun.  Anyway I'm saying I absolutely would not care at ALL if the 2nd Amendment were repealed and every gun vanished from the land tomorrow.  Realistically that is not likely to happen so I'll focus on assault rifles and semi-automatics.  There is no other purpose for those except to kill people as efficiently as possible.

Um...

Sep. 21st, 2012 12:18 pm
ceebeegee: (Crescent Moon)
Okay, I post in a group called  [livejournal.com profile] craftgrrl--kind of the LJ version of Ravelry, people upload pictures/descriptions of their current or most recent project and everyone shares the love.  But this?  This is just weird.

Admit it:  he's the cutest little serial killer you've ever seen, isn't he? =)

Jack the Ripper eviscerated his victims--he literally tore them to pieces.  Click on that link and scroll down to see how poor Mary Kelly ended up.  (Whether or not it was just one murderer or several is immaterial for the purposes of this discussion.)  And of course, OF COURSE, as fucking always, he targeted women.  He literally slaughtered some of the most helpless, powerless members of Victorian society--women prostitutes--and multilated them in as insulting, misogynistic a manner as you can imagine.  Two of them, Annie Chapman and Catherine Eddowes, had their respective uteruses cut out of them, for God's sake.  Why is this something to be domesticized and made cute, complete with smiley faces?  This really happened--these women really died, and it wasn't that long ago.  We certainly do not live in a post-misogynistic society so how you can blithely laugh this off, I don't know.  I understand the fascination with JtR but this--this is just disturbing.

This reminds me a little bit of how the Powers That Be in the '50s tried to normalize the Bomb through domesticization--they had a term for the smaller bombs, they called them "kitten bombs."  *shudder*
ceebeegee: (Default)
I was on the A train going downtown to work this morning and one of the professionally homeless types was working his way through the car, holding a sign and saying his spiel.  I've actually never seen this particular guy before (there is a crowd of regular panhandlers on the A) but I could tell from the tone of his voice he was bad news--he had that edge that said "I'm one rejection away from spewing profanities" and he was asking every person personally "hey, can you give me something?  A few pennies, a nickel? Can you give me something?"  EVERY single person.  I was prepared to ignore him.  Well he went further than profanities--right in front of me, he hauled off and socked a guy, a college student, screaming "Fucking faggot! Don't look at me like that!"  He kept trying to hit the guy again and they ended up literally RIGHT in front of me, I thought they were going to end up on my lap.  About 10 passengers jumped the homeless guy and pulled him off.  He kept trying to fight and some prudent person pepper-sprayed him in the eyes. (My pepper spray was buried with my keys at the bottom of my bookbag.)  His eyes streaming, the asshole was staggering around saying "I'm a victim of sexual assault!  Fucking faggot!"  Everyone was prepared to pound the shit out of this guy.  He went to the next car but luckily we were near the 59th St. station--as soon as the train stopped, a bunch of us ran to the conductor and told him to call the transit police and arrest the guy.  I don't know if they caught him but I gave a detailed description, saying "you can't miss him, he has a sign asking for money, he's streaming from the eyes and he has on loose tan shorts and a button-up short-sleeved tan shirt."

The guy he attacked was wearing a tee-shirt saying "NYU Wrestling" and he LOOKED like a wrestler, huge chest.  Homeless asshole is probably lucky he didn't really get his clock cleaned--I assure you no one on the train would have stepped in to stop it, had THAT happened.  As Hermione would say "What. An. Idiot."

Too many crazy losers on the train.
ceebeegee: (Default)
McCarren Pool is now as bad as Coney Island. The only thing missing are guns.

Jesus. Only a few weeks to ruin it for everyone. The only thing good about this is they were stupid enough to film it *and* to post it online, making the job of the NYPD that much easier.

Ugh

Jul. 3rd, 2012 05:28 pm
ceebeegee: (Red Heather)
Why does everything have to turn to shit so quickly?

Within a week of the new McCarren pool opening, several incidents of violence, innluding robbery and beatings.

Just embarrassing. Trash (including the victim-blamers--no, the victims are not to blame for locking their stuff up, the trash who broke in and stole stuff that wasn't theirs are to blame) always has to rush in and ruin it for everyone. Can't have a lovely new pool, nope, gotta fuck it up as soon as possible!

Sometimes I think Robert Moses had the right idea.
ceebeegee: (Red Heather)
I have been a little nervous about the Sandusky trial, since apparently all American juries seem to have forgotten that yes, they can actually find a defendant guilty. (cf., the NYC Rape Cop cases (BOTH of them), John Edwards, Casey Anthony, etc. Never been a better time to commit a felony than right now!) But today an article popped up--Sandusky is actually going to testify. WOW. I'm actually shocked his lawyer is letting him--he will only do his own case harm, since this is the man who, when asked a direct question "are you sexually attracted to young boys?" giggled and preened and repeated the question and basically screamed YES with every twitch. Hell, even the name of his book screams it (Touched)--this is a man who wanted to get caught, I think, he wants to tell the story. Although why he's pleading innocent, I couldn't tell you. What a monster. Those boys (now mostly grownup) who are testufying are incredibly brave.
ceebeegee: (Mad Men)
Episode was GREAT this past Sunday. I knew the case they were referring to, although I didn't know much about it other than he killed a bunch of nurses. Just another inadequate man who takes it out on women but let's not talk about the fact that serial and mass murders overwhelmingly target women--can't start a conversation, we might actually want to change the status quo! But what a way to tie in all that misogyny--especially creepy how it actually gets commercialized here (when Ginsberg sells the "Stalking Cinderella" ad campaign). Grandma is another victim-blamer--yes, Pauline, those nurses ASKED to be raped and murdered! Disgusting but her attitude is sadly all too prevalent. Some women refuse to confront the fact that they are just as vulnerable--in order to feel safer, they twist it so that the victim *must* have had some kind of agency. They said the same sort of things about poor Elizabeth Short (the Black Dahlia)--she "was seeking death" or she was a prostitute. All nonsense. Also disturbing and sad (and again, still prevalent) was the leering at the crime scene photos. Allow the murdered some dignity, for God's sake. I feel the same way about rubberneckers on the highway--someone's death is not your entertainment.

Peggy ruminating on her "masculine" tendencies was interesting in light of the (later debunked) speculation that Speck had an extra Y chromosome, and supposedly this was associated with extra-aggressive males. Is rape and murder of women part of what it means to be male? When Joan threw out Greg, she specifically referenced his lack of manhood *and* hearkened back to the rape in the office.

GREAT episode. Kind of wish they had addressed the Kitty Genovese rape and murder last season--that had as much of an impact (especially locally) as did the nurses' murders (although the Genovese murder was in March of '64 and S4 started later than that). But the Genovese case was HUGE and better known than the nurses' murders. Can't wait to see how Weiner & Company play out the continuing devolution of NYC and the US (in terms of crime) in the late '60s. It's gonna be a long time before things get better. (I would LOVE for this show to address the blackout and the looting in Bushwick but the show isn't supposed to go that far into the future.)

Enraging

Mar. 30th, 2012 06:11 pm
ceebeegee: (Red Heather)
This is just....the word is heartbreaking.

Another day, another rapist NYC cop, another fucking stupid jury who desperately wants to believe that all raped sluts bring it upon themselves, even teachers walking to work at 6:45 in the morning.

Loser fired cop's trial for rape declared a mistrial, despite eyewitness testimony and DNA. (The one bright note is that he was convicted of predatory sexual assault and will probably get the full sentence for that.)

the Daily News reports that at least one juror didn't believe the victim because she could not recall the color of a car parked by the courtyard where she was attacked: “If she doesn’t remember these details, how does she know she was penetrated,” one juror said.

I'm trying not to cry right now.

He pointed a GUN in her FACE.
He told her to shut her eyes, or he'd blow her head off.
And some fucking male juror uses that AGAINST her? Can't believe she had other things to worry about? How does she know she was PENETRATED?!

The jury refused to convict him of rape, even though there was semen on her. They refused to believe she'd been raped even though he was CAUGHT IN THE ACT.

God forbid we take a woman's cry of rape seriously. God fucking forbid we actually confront how fucked up our treatment of rape victims are, and how predatory this society is.

I hate this city. I hate the NYPD. I hate people. And juries--juries need to be abolished. Most of them are too stupid to operate. I say this as someone who was proud to be on a jury.

I really hope that male juror* who voted to acquit is raped some day, and his pain is dismissed, or rationalized, or laughed at by anonymous internet commenters. I really do.

People just don't get it. This is why they talk about "the rape culture." This is what we mean. People just will not accept how easy it is to rape someone--specifically how easy it is for a man to rape a woman. They will not--will not--believe it.

This happened in Inwood, BTW--right up on Park Terrace West & 217th Rd. At 6:45 in the fucking morning.

Who apparently lied during the voir dire process and knows the DA and not in a friendly way may be facing perjury charges. HA FUCKING HA. Put me on THAT jury--the one trial in which I served, was a perjury trial.

I'm still trying not to cry. I have to stop reading about this. I'm so angry.
ceebeegee: (Default)
Jerry Sandusky re-arrested, re-bailed out by delusional (if not complicit) wife, re-interviewed.  The trainwreck continues as he giggles, smiles at inappropriate times, avoids eye contact for long stretches, and steps in it AGAIN (go to 7:35) when revisiting his infamous "Am I sexually attracted...to young boys...?" moment in the Bob Costas interview.  Good God, his lawyer must be shitting in his pants, although since Almendola fathered a child by his own underage client (and employee) when he himself was 49, he may not see anything wrong.

An interesting thing about this mess is how overwhelmingly public opinion is against him--pretty much everyone thinks he's guilty (as do I, needless to say).  And yet Michael Jackson admitted to the same sorts of activities, and Michael Jackson also tried to pass himself off as a "big kid," who "just loved children."  And yet he had a lot more defenders.  Hmm.  Funny, that.  It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that he was a super-talented performer and actor.  Noooo, people like that can do no wrong.

Like I always say, we're sooooo quick to condemn any hint of sexual impropriety--until it's one of our heroes.  Note that the only people angry about Joe Paterno's ouster are Penn Staters.

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