Do I wake or sleep?

I was going to give a long account of the past week or so, which was very good, but like pretty much everyone else I'm stunned by the loss of Robin Williams, and it's what I've been thinking about all day.

I can remember his career going all the way back to Mork and Mindy--I was in 6th grade when that came out and it was a big hit. I remember being so aware of that show I wrote a short story and named a character Morkimonia (who was otherwise not at all like Mork--not an alien, for example) and got twitted by my teacher for unoriginality. (I wrote a makeup story about a girl who couldn't fall asleep one night because it was too hot so she held her breath to make herself pass out.) I remember those rainbow suspenders everyone wore, that was from M&M. (God, did we love rainbow-anything in the late '70s/early '80s.)

And Dead Poet's Society! To this day that movie gets me. That gorgeous cinematography, the liberal quoting of so many of my favorite poets. That magnificent ending, when Neil struggles to do what is right and finally surges to his feet and onto the desk, knowing it will mean his expulsion. And the other boys joining him (including the one who'd written the doggerel "the cat sat on the mat" earlier) as that brave Scottish music swells louder and louder, drowning out the obnoxious teacher as he impotently tries to get them off the desks. And that last perfect shot from Keating's POV, looking up at these young men, now grown. I'm struggling not to cry right now. I just love that movie. I love its message, its themes and actors, its lushness and its beauty and its heartbreak.

It's interesting to note how many times in his work Williams confronts or deals with suicide. Neil in DPS kills himself; What Dreams May Come also dealt with suicide and the Oscar-nominated songwriter for Good Will Hunting, Elliott Smith (he wrote "Miss Misery") also killed himself.

Good Will Hunting
Hook
the Birdcage
Aladdin--oh, so upsetting. My favorite movie of the Disney Renaissance, and he was a huge reason why.

And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

These are what we stay alive for.

Make your lives extraordinary.

Thank you, Genie. thank you.

I was going to order curtains online but couldn't wait--I went to Bed Bath and Beyond on Tuesday. The lined curtains I'd picked out didn't really work--they were lined but not officially "room darkening" curtains. So I went again yesterday and found some better ones and FINALLY this morning for the first time in weeks I did not wake up as the sun rose. I've been exhausted for weeks now because of this--yay! I can sleep! Kelly, I still would love to order curtains from you though--I can just buy one of those "room darkening" liners and attach them to the back to make them suitable for the room. Can I email you?

Man, this weather is pretty monotonous--if it's not raining every day, it's this oppressive PERSONAL heat. I have a soccer game tonight--it won't be too bad after 5, but I'm glad it's not in the afternoon.

Have been QUITE sick ever since Friday--today's the first day I haven't been coughing up a lung. I had a game Sunday and flat out told my team I am no good and should only go in for someone who's exhausted. I went in once or twice and it was terrible--I coud barely breathe, was gasping for air, there was so much congestion in my lungs. Monday I was especially miserable and probably should've stayed home but since I don't get sick days...it was also terrible because I had a weird incident in the morning. I have a *very* high gag reflex and certain things will trigger it--most notably bodily fluids from someone else. Vomit, urine, blood, phlegm, etc. Tatia had an incident with the litter box that morning and when I went to clean it up, I couldn't help it and vomited. What was even worse was throughout the day, every time I thought of it, I started to gag again. AWFUL. Between that and the exhausting coughing fits, Monday was pretty stressful. I've had this problem (gag reflex) since I was a kid but it's only gotten worse as I've grown older. It is mostly a mental thing--I try to fight it by thinking of something very different (lemons or citrus fruits, or ginger--just thinking of it--seems to help short-circuit the problem sometimes).

Re: the Martin verdict. I'm obviously very, very upset. I cannot stop thinking about it, this is a terrible tragedy. I think the jury really let Trayvon down, and that interview with the one who talked to Anderson Cooper--she sounds like a completely oblivious idiot. Who makes a fetish of how much they don't follow the media (uh, I haven't had TV for six years but I strongly doubt that the Today show didn't have ANYTHING about this case)--and then TWO DAYS LATER has a book deal????? This woman's husband is an ATTORNEY and she didn't know anything about the case? Really???? I call bullshit. I am wondering if she wanted to get on the jury.

Jesus wept. It's so depressing. How can you possibly justify not holding Zimmerman responsible at ALL? Not even manslaughter, really?

...Former 3-time Olympian, Motivational Speaker and Generally Incredibly Successful Person Outed as a Vegas Escort.

As in...recently!  She was doing this this past year! "Beginning last December..."

My mind is whirring--this reads like an Onion article.  A three-time U.S. Olympian whose illustrious running career has included a Nike TV commercial, a swimsuit calendar, and ongoing promotional work for Disney has spent the last year doubling as a $600-an-hour call girl, an astounding secret life that she now regretfully calls a “huge mistake.  YA THINK.

Favor Hamilton expressed concern that her story would be “sensationalized” by a reporter. It is hard, though, to imagine how that could occur. [The snark factor is strong with the TSG article.] The actual events of the ex-Olympian's past year already seem like the fever dreams of a Lifetime producer who decided to adapt Luis Bunuel’s “Belle de Jour” for basic cable.

Aside from the complete what-the-flying-FUCK factor....she sounds emotionally ill.  Depression apparently runs in her family (her brother committed suicide) and she herself suffered from post-partum depression.  A lot of what she says sounds not just naive but numb.

I think it's really depressing when, in the first wave of reaction to this horrible event yesterday, there's more attention paid to the so-called "finger pointing" and "blame" than to, you know, six people who were murdered in cold blood and how a political system was hijacked yesterday. Because let's remember who the real victims are here--ranty demogogues who suddenly realize their words have an impact and are now scrambling to cover their asses by washing their hands of responsibility. There are several examples but this in particular struck me. Judson Phillips, the head of a Tea Party networking organization, issued this statement:

( Cut for political musings )

The whole thing is just so goddamn sad. I've been wavering on the death penalty lately but this guy sure deserves it. A nine year old girl? Jesus.

So Day 3 I had a full-ish day planned. I was going to a matinee at the Abbey Theatre at 2:00, but before that I was going to swing by Trinity College to see the Book of Kells and then either right before or after the Abbey, was going to try again to do the Guinness tour. It did not happen exactly like this, however ;) I left the hostel and found a place to grab a quick bite of something Irish and breakfast-y (coffee and soda bread--well, coffee is MODERN Irish, tea would've been more traditional but apparently coffee has been quite a hit there in the past few years). Left the breakfast place and within a block got caught up--quite literally--in a massive protest.



Hundreds--thousands--of Dubliners angry about the austerity cuts were descending on the General Post Office (GPO) to protest the cuts. I was rather quickly surrounded by them, including some very nice Irishmen who answered all my questions and were not only very well-informed about their own politics but had some thoughtful comments about American politics as well. One younger guy was telling me what I should tell Obama (I'm all "uh, sure"), that "he needs to use his position as President to push his platform more..." I started to utter a phrase to sum up what he meant, a quintessentially American phrase--and then HE said it, "he needs to make use of the bully pulpit." I was truly impressed that he knew that phrase--furthermore, I agreed with what he was saying! We had a chat about American politics and what was happening right in front of us (lots of slogans and placards, different speakers speaking). What makes this especially interesting is that the GPO is a powerful symbol of Irish history--the Easter Rising in 1916 took place there. Lots of parallels between past and present history--their economic collapse is also due to a property bubble.


Erin Go Bragh!



After this energizing experience, I extricated myself from the crowd and made my way to the Abbey. This is THE face of theater in Ireland, a legend--YEATS premiered a play there, for God's sake! I saw fascinating play called Freefall--interestingly they didn't have programs (I think that's a British thing) so I bought one which turned out to be the script. It was actually pretty confusing, so this helped quite a bit.

Right after the play I made my way as quickly as I could over to Trinity College to see my Must See for Dublin--the Book of Kells. This is an old, incredibly beautiful illuminated manuscript from the Dark Ages, created by Irish monks and preserved from the ravages of the Vikings. They had a terrific exhibit on it that explicated so much, including breaking breaking down exactly what they went through to produce a book at that time (obviously copied by hand, on calf vellum--they have it worked out to four anonymous scribed, by their handwriting). I was staring at the book, and thinking 12 hundred years ago this was written by some anonymous person--his hand touched these pages, his hand created this script. Whatever he was feeling or experiencing may have affected why this letter was written with this flourish, or why there was a mistake on that word. And before THAT--a calf was raised that would ultimately give its life for this page in this book. A farmer raised that calf, fed it, took care of it--if it had been fed differently, the page might've looked a different color.

I would've loved to have taken pictures but it wasn't allowed, understandably so. While I was in the exhibit I could hear, not-so-faintly, in the entrance area (in the Library bookstore) some American girl going on and on about "I just--this is my LIFE, my HERITAGE, don't you understand? My family...." and on in this vein. which--well, made me cringe. Look, I get that visiting Ireland is a moving experience but can you keep it down? This is a museum; we're all trying to take in this incredible thing in front of us.

Upon exiting from the Book exhibit, you then go through the Old Library Long Room--it's a long hall, which included an exhibit on the 1641 Depositions. As I was bending over to read the placards, I could hear American Girl again--she'd also gone through the Kells exhibit and now she was talking, loudly, with her boyfriend and some woman who obviously worked there and who therefore should've known better. American Girl was telling the woman, loudly, about her background and her Irish grandmother and red hair in her family and how her boyfriend (she called him a "ginger") and she were going to have red-haired kids and I don't know what all. She was LOUD. Oddly for all her talk about how Irish she was, she didn't look it at all--dark-complected with curly dark hair. Intensely annoying as this was, it gets worse--she pulled out a camera and took a picture. A museum worker, a man, BOLTED up the stairs and told her "I said NO PICTURES. You said you didn't have any more shots left." She said something and started to go exit down the stairs with BF and then, incredibly, took ANOTHER picture. Someone yelled up something from below stairs and she said airily "Sorry, thanks you guys, luv ya."

I felt very stabby. Like, it's not just that you're embarrassing me as a fellow American, it's not just that you're loud and rude and inappropriate. You're also ENDANGERING THESE TEXTS. They're old, and incredibly fragile. You want a picture? BUY A POSTCARD. Unbelievable.

After this I really--sadly--had no time for the Guinness tour. *Sadface* So I figured I'd go shopping--luckily Grafton Street (major shopping section) was very close by, so I made my way through there. I hit a Marks and Spencer (Christmas gifts for my Mom) and a couple of other shops, and found an adorable boutique where I put together a cute lil' twinset and had a lovely, long conversation with the two girls. It's always so interesting to get an insider's view--they think Dublin is small, that "everybody knows everybody." And when I told them about the Book of Kells they were all "Oh, I haven't seen that since the third grade." I recommended a few places in NYC for them to shop the next time they're here.



I walked back over the bridge to the hostel and got this lovely shot.

For the past few months I've been shuddering every time I heard the names LeBron or Gaga. I can think of few things for which I care less than where an overpaid athlete chooses to play next--just. Do. Not. Care. And as for the latter--GO AWAY. I'm having the same reaction as I did to Madonna in the late '80s--GO AWAY. I didn't know your name a year ago and now you're like the Gosselins (another name I wish I didn't know), waving "hi, Mom!" at the cameras every chance you get. Stop begging for attention. So yesterday I was vaguely aware that finally the hoorah about where the basketball player was going to go was about to be over and I cast my eyes upwards and thanked God. I had no idea of the details of the announcement; I just knew Relief Was In Sight.

I must say, if I'd known his announcement was going to be this entertaining, I might've tuned in. He had a show? An hour-long special where he referred to himself as King James? Complete with a charity as a PR fig leaf? Oh. My. Christ. Man, do I wish I could've seen this--he is getting absolutely eviscerated online today. Here's a column on Yahoo!:

An exercise in self-aggrandizement and self-loathing that will have far-reaching implications for the NBA and James. What a spectacle, what a train wreck.

And

the public execution of his legacy, his image, and there was a part of James that clearly wished he could turn back through the doors and hide.

And

Someday, he will fire his business manager Maverick Carter for turning the two-time MVP’s free-agent moment into Geraldo and Al Capone’s vault. Carter used the cover of charity for a historically horrible event and completely destroyed the credibility of his client.

WOW. *warms hands over the heat.* And there's more, in this chat on the Washington Post site:

Toronto: Did he at least give Miami's GM a rose?

I can't recall ever seeing anything so narcisstic and egotistical.

And

Laurel, Md.: I feel for fans in Cleveland. Making this a publicly televised spectacle and then telling the world that he was spurning Cleveland is tantamount to publicly spitting in the faces of the Cleveland fans. Comes awful close to being personally insulting I would say. I really feel for those people.

(And--what, the Browns left CLEVELAND?! When the hell did that happen? Nobody ever tells me anything!)

Clearly I missed out last night!

Although I can't say I blame him for giving New York a miss. New York sports fans eat their young.

So--obviously some pretty big legislation was passed yesterday and some strong opinions were expressed. Now most of my friends are pretty liberal, and by and large the opinions I was reading on my Facebook feed were positive. There were, of course, some not so. I fully believe that there is principled opposition to this legislation--I don't agree with any of the arguments I've heard, either because I didn't think they added up or I'm just ideologically opposed to the premises of the argument--but I know that people I respect and love do not necessarily support this.

It can be really difficult to weigh in on the subject--even to go onto Facebook and read what others have to say--without getting emotional or taking it personally. It's a really tough line to draw. I like to see passionate discussion and no one should be afraid to disagree, but when 1) you don't know someone, and 2) you're discussing things online, without the context of face-to-face communication, things can get--unattractive. This is why I tend to reserve my political discussion for LJ, rather than FB. Too many friends on FB, plus its format doesn't facilitate thoughtful discussion as well as a blog community does. When I do post political on FB, it's usually a cri du coeur, something that bothers me, or elates me, so much I can't hold it in.

A few weeks ago, Patricia posted something on FB about health care reform, and one of her friends, someone I don't know, asked "who pays for it?" I responded (my first response to Patricia's thread) "since health care reform is something that benefits all of us, like education, we all pay via taxes." Question seeking factual answer, factual answer given with underlying reasoning, right? He responded with this diatribe on how he wasn't going to pay for boob jobs and illegal immigrants and nose surgery and I don't know what-all--like, apres ca, le deluge, this very partisan, emotional post. Dude, if I'd known you were spoiling for a fight, I never would've responded. And he started it off with "Nope. Sorry." I have to say, as soon as you start off a response like that, I click off. It's condescending and rude. "Nope. *shakes head regretfully* Your attempt to impress me just didn't work, so I'll be brief and dismissive. Sorry. Better luck next time." It's an aggressive response couched in falsely "nice" language. I notice it mostly from guys, whereas women tend to use the "Um..." or call people "honey." Again, as soon as I see that, I stop reading--if you take an argument this personally, I'd rather not engage. I was polite to you, and I expect the same. Which is basically what I said to him, something along the lines of "you obviously have your mind already made up so there's no point in discussing this." He responded again but I never read it. Dude, don't know you, now I don't want to, stop trying to pick a fight.

So--I posted last night another cri du coeur, "Yes, we could!" because yes, I am very happy this bill passed. Almost everyone who responded agreed but a friend of mine from elementary school wrote something about how "not 'we,' the majority of Americans didn't want this*, only some people in DC" (paraphrase). I started to type out a geeky, over-explanation about how I was referencing Obama's campaign slogan, don't take it literally, it's a rhetorical "we," I was not speaking for all Americans but those who support health care reform., and we live in a republic, not a perfect democracy and all the reps who voted for this bill are presumably acting on the wishes of their constituents, because they know they'll be voted out if they don't. Then I decided--you know what, let him have his say. As I said it's a really tough line to draw, to read what people are saying, about an issue that you feel so passionately, and not respond sometimes. Michael's (my friend Michael Mackey) an old friend of mine, haven't seen him in forever but I remember several months ago he very respectfully asked for people's thoughts on health care reform, even if he had his own specific opinions. He's pretty disappointed obviously, but he's a good American who's trying, just like the rest of us.

But then there was the hilarious exchange on my friend Jim Denny's page. Jim posted in favor of the bill, said something about making health care affordable for everyone, rich or poor, and a friend of his started off his response "Jim, you sound like Adolph Hitler." I busted out laughing at that. A couple of other people posted and he answered every single with with this long diatribe--this is where you are crossing a line. Your Hitler response just makes you look ridiculous, but you don't get to take over the discussion and essentially try to shout down people. (That drives me crazy on YouTube as well, when people have to respond to every single person who expresses an opinion contrary to theirs, as though that other person really is wrong and they have to correct them. Crazily enough, you really see it with ladies' singles figure skating videos. There are some crazy FS-loving bishes, yo.) Jim wrote back "Yeah, been goose-steppin' around the neighborhood all evening looking for some hard-working young Americans who can't afford health care I can herd up and gas." I'd been thinking of invoking Godwin, but when I read what Jim wrote, I posted "Let me know if you need a fellow Aryan to help, it's been awhile since I've asked anyone for their papers, I need the practice."

*I read this several times on FB last night, that supposedly most Americans "don't want" this. I'd really like to see some reputable sources for that, because I've been reading the opposite, that Americans DO want health care reform. Of course then you have to get into what questions were asked on these surveys, how specific were they, and when were they conducted. My point is that it's sort of meaningless to say something so vague. At any rate, it's still a faulty argument, IMO--most Americans didn't want the civil rights act either. Most Southerners didn't want slavery to end. Most Jordanians STILL don't want the peace treaty with Israel. You may not believe that health care is a human right, but if you're arguing with people who do believe that, invoking majority rule is not going to convince them.

An Austin, Texas, resident with an apparent grudge against the Internal Revenue Service set his house on fire Thursday and then crashed a small plane into a building housing an IRS office with nearly 200 employees, officials said.

Holy. Crap. He also set his house on fire and left a long, rambly, incoherent letter with one theme: "I is angry, hate taxes and the government, rawr!"

What a f-ing loser. You know who this reminds me of? The Bath School bombing Another loser all angry because he had to pay property tax to support the local school. So what did he do? Killed his wife, set fire to his farm killing all of his farm animals (in fact he tied them in so they couldn't escape), and set off a series of bombs at the school, murdering more than 40 schoolchildren as well as some adults. You know what his note said? "Criminals are made, not born." 'Cause, you know, they drove him to murder 6 year olds. Taxes drove him to it. It's all someone else's fault.

I just don't understand people sometimes.

Pat Robertson Voodoo Doll

100% of the proceeds are donated to the Red Cross. Rush Limbaugh doll to follow.

(The best part is the Q&A at the bottom.)