Do I wake or sleep?

Somebody posted:

I don't think I can adequately express how much I hate reader comments, though. In my opinion, *that* is the story (and I'll read that Traister article as soon as I get a chance.) The mob mentality. The sheer unadulterated viciousness. I just absolutely hate it. I was reading a story on a newspaper website about a 29-year-old reporter who killed himself. Wouldn't you know that one of the first comments, like maybe within the first five, was someone talking about what an asshole coward he was?

This is why I really hold back on the piling on of the likes of Linday Lohan and Paris Hilton. The sheer nastiness that pervades so much public discourse now is poisonous and it bothers me. It really bothers me. I posted in reply:

I subscribe to New York Magazine which stopped running LTTE, which I really miss. I thoroughly enjoy a well-crafted LTTE; it's like a brief or a thesis to me, how can you argue your point elegantly? I've had a few LTTE printed myself and I've always been proud of that; now New York Magazine reports on the Comments section with quotations and summaries. Most of the comments are interesting--they must moderate it--but some of them make me sad. They had an article a couple of issues ago about a 15-year-old Russian girl whose millionaire father is pushing her as a fashion brand--her particular style is the basis for a chain. The girl was like any other 15-year-old--a little dizzy, naive, sweet, obsessed with pink, there was nothing objectionable about her. Some of the comments were pretty critical though and it just struck me as hitting a mosquito with a mallet. I mean, what is the point of saying nasty things about her nose? Or calling her a bimbo? She's just a kid. It's mean. She seemed very sweet nonetheless, and I just hoped she wasn't reading the comments.

Why is there so much gratuitous shittiness? So much pointless viciousness and tearing down? Why is so much of it directed toward women, and so much of it from women? Why are women so hard on starlets and why is appearance picked apart so badly? Why are women so proud of disliking other women and seem so eager to say "my best friends are all men" and "other women dislike me"? Why is it when a man cheats, he gets off easy and the "other woman" gets called a whore--and why are women so quick to use that term anyway? Why do women on the red carpet get slammed for the stupidest of things (again, usually by other women), but the men can show up in almost anything? Why is it no matter what weight a female celebrity is, it's the wrong one? Why do Paris and Lindsay get so much more attention of all kinds, but overwhelmingly negative kind, from the press? I mean, who are we kidding, there are tons of male stars out there who act just as foolishly (hello, Robert Iler, Charlie Sheen)--why do the women get so much more attention? Why did the media swarm all over Janet Jackson in the aftermath of the wardrobe malfunction, but leave Justin Timberlake mostly alone? It just all sickens me. People really depress me sometimes.

I'm glad I went to a women's college where female friendships were the norm, and not something to disavow. I'm glad that my mother and stepmother modeled healthy female friendships for me, and didn't habitually tear down other women. Sometimes I think I grew up in a charmed environment--I wasn't prepared for how nasty some women can habitually be to other women, how pointlessly competitive. I don't think it's the default setting (and it annoys me when people assume it is, "ooh, all women are catty"), but it's certainly assumed to be.

They're running an ad on NY1 right now--it features Shrek and the donkey from Shrek (I don't know his name, I've never seen the movie). The two creatures are exhorting kids to "be a player!" and to get up and go outside to play. I mean--they are actually running ads that tell kids to go outside and play. As a public service announcement. The best part is when the donkey says you can go online to check out ideas on how to play--"but don't stay too long!" I just--you actually have to be told how to play outside? By the government? Is everyone on DOPE? [/Mr. Hand] Is this a city thing? Wait, it can't be--the opening sequence of Crooklyn shows tons of kids playing in the street. Are kids today so lethargic they don't WANT to run around like demons outside? Don't they have tons of energy to work off? I mean, I just don't get it.

When I was a kid, oh my God--in New Hampshire, we played Kick the Can, Hide and Go Seek, baseball, Red Light, Green Light...Kick the Can was the best--I *loved* that game! I would play it TODAY. So much fun hiding and then sneaking closer...and closer...and closer until you burst out of hiding, sprinting toward the center of the Gaidmore's yard (we always played in the Gaidmore's back yard) to send that can flying. We played it so much we finally substituted a big pile of pillows because we were running out of cans! The New Hampshire kids had some fun rhymes for deciding who was It--one of my favorites was "Inka, Binka, bottle of ink, cork fell out and you stink." We also said "Engine, Engine Number Nine, Going down Chicago Line, if the train should jump the track, do you want your money back?" and "Bubble gum, bubble gum in a dish, how many pieces do you wish?"

I also loved climbing trees. I've always had a stereotypically boylike desire to "conquer" my environment"--anytime there was a tree, I climbed it; anytime there was a thin raised path, I walked along it, trying to balance myself; anytime there was a bar, I swung on it. In Virginia, there was a maple tree right outside my house that my friend Beth and I used to climb all the time. We named the different branches and "claimed" them and I always loved the seeds spinning to the ground in the spring. I would throw them into the air to watch them 'copter their way to the ground--I still do this! In my backyard in New Hampshire, there was a huge fir tree where my brother built a shelf to sit on, and I used to climb up there and read.


*...Every night they have a fight and this is what they say
"Icka bicka back soda cracker," out goes HE.--try getting THAT one out of your head!

I feel like I'm sitting on the porch, waving my cane at those kids in the street--except that would mean they're outsde, playing. It would be funny if it weren't sad :/

I'm watching CNN right now and there is a debate about college athletes and whether or not they're exploited. There is a guy who is actually advocating that NCAA athletes be paid. Oh. My. God. My eyeballs are about to roll right out of their sockets onto the floor. Spare me the fucking violins. Hey, if they want to get paid--go professional. Enter the NBA draft or show up at the NFL camps. But as long as you're in school, your scholarship is your pay. The guy was whining about how much money they generate, and one of the other panelists said exactly what I would've said--that money goes towards other activities that don't generate as much revenue. Because it's school, not a corporation--you're part of the scholastic community (at least officially :-/ ) and there's so much attention and privilege lavished on these programs, it's only fair they give back.

Can I just say how much I despise Jermaine Jackson? He was on Larry King last night and made a complete ass of himself, in full denial mode. Everything Michael does is wonderful and above criticism; everyone who criticizes Michael is wrong and possibly racist; there is nothingnothingnothing suspicious whatsoever about anything Michael does, or says, or feels. I don't expect Jermaine openly to criticize his brother or say he's guilty--I can understand his wanting to support his brother. However, quiet support behind the scenes with a "no comment" to the media or "I love my brother--we'll help him through this" is one thing; this angry, aggressive, attack mode is another, and just appalling. And his whole "this is nothing more than a modern-day lynching" comment just infuriated me. That kind of irresponsible rhetoric is just appalling. And can I just say how tired I am of prominent black men invoking lynching anytime they get criticized in the media for anything? Clarence Thomas, Jayson Blair, Jermaine--do you all even know what actually happened in lynchings? I suggest you do some research, and especially look at the pictures, and then have the guts to say your respective treatment in any way compares to that. If I were the relative of a lynching victim, I'd spit in your face. Those men (and a few women) were brutalized, and dragged, and hanged, and people cut off parts of their bodies for souvenirs. They were treated as worse than animals. People took pictures and sent postcards. Perhaps most importantly, lynching by its very definition abrogates the right to due process. The Santa Barbara police waiting with their dicks in their hands for MJ to turn himself in--doesn't really come close, no. They gave him more than due process.

Jermaine--whether or not these latest charges are true, Michael has serious problems. His nose is rotting away. He now looks whiter and more feminine than I do. His children are forced to wear red veils in public, and he dangled his baby over a balcony railing several stories up. He admits to sleeping in the same bed with children. And perhaps most conclusive, to me anyway, he paid $20 million to settle the first charges in 1993. An innocent person doesn't do that, Jermaine. Nope. $20 million? Don't think so. A woman called in to the show last night and asked about MJ's extensive plastic surgery and JJ got all defensive--"Why does everyone have to focus on that? He's fine, he's fine, just leave him alone, focus on what's positive." Um, JJ? Your brother is a media figure because he chooses to be. He seems to have no problem utilizing the media for his own purposes--trash-talking Sony, selling his albums, whatever--so he shouldn't be surprised when the media sometimes wants to use him for their purposes. People who act as freakishly as your brother have to expect that kind of scrutiny.

Just ugh! I despise that kind of irrational, knee-jerk, defensive mode. Look at the larger picture, JJ. Your angry, aggressive response just proved to me there's something to hide.