Do I wake or sleep?

It's been awhile since I've written, mainly because I've been absolutely absorbed in my classes and in a couple of projects coming up. Classes were a little tough at first--I've had very little training for how to structure a class and they evaluated me almost immediately (on my third class--guys, can you let me get used to things first?) and that was a little frustrating. But now I think the classes I teach are going very well. I'm still nervous about them--I structure the HELL out of my classes--but I am seeing genuine improvement and actually enjoying myself as well. Yesterday I structured a lesson wherein I taught the first (5-7 yo) and second (7-9 yo) classes the dragback (a defensive maneuver in soccer). I really put a lot of thought into how to reinforce teaching them and even made up my own drill. (They gave us a manual but it's less helpful than I thought it would be. For one thing a lot of the drills are hard to understand on the page, and also I think some of them are a little too advanced for my first class.) Also there is a kid in that first class who was a bit of a pain--kind of a showoff and also a complainer. I finally figured out how to "tame" him--I'd use him as my demonstrator, which appeals to his pride in his abilities, and I also "discussed" with him whether he thought the "give and go" (basic passing play) was too advanced for the rest of the class. Now he loves class, because he's like my little assistant.) Then when we had The Big Game I encouraged the kids to use the skills they just learned by valuating them--I said anyone who successfully executed a dragback or a give and go in the game would earn an extra point. Only a few kids did the give and go but even that was more than I expected--getting the kids to play smart, to strategize and not just run after the ball, is a huge accomplishment. (For comparison *I* have a hard time playing smart!) And lots of them did the dragback in the game! It's really very exciting to see kids learning and to know that you made that happen.

So a few days ago Ryan asked me if I wanted a comp to the opening of a musical he's in--Liberty, down at Theater 80 in the East Village. Liberty is actually a heavily reworked version of a musical called Lady of Copper I did back in '01-'02. When Ryan texted me I thought long and hard about it, because my experience with this show was not one of unmitigated joy. I auditioned in fall of '01 and I could tell at the auditions they were singing me for Emma Lazarus, the ingénue. They even joked about how unsuited I was for Moskovitz (the character role, a comic shtetl-type) so when they offered me Moskovitz I was surprised but took it. We did a couple of performances up in Washington Heights that were filmed, and apparently this producer dude, whose parents were VERY well-connected (they founded one of the very well-known actors studios in the city) saw it and wanted to take over and take this thing to Broad-way! So they allowed it and this guy just ran roughshod over the show and me in particular. They immediately switched me to playing Emma, which was fine by me, and then booked us at the Cherry Lane. (Again, fine by me.) But this guy was a TERRIBLE director--I mean, truly a joke. Absolutely terrible direction, and he insulted us, and really seemed to have a problem with the questions I would ask him to try to understand what he wanted me to do. (At one point I remember asking him how do I justify that Emma walks up to a complete stranger and initiates a conversation when it's been established how shy she is? And he got upset and was like well YOU wouldn't do that, but SHE would. Like he didn't understand at ALL what I was saying.) Everyone detested him. It got so bad the rest of the cast started sticking up for me, both privately and to his face. It was fun working at the Cherry Lane though.

Then they had me doing a bunch of the school tours which were ROUGH. The audiences were fine but I had to get up BEFORE the crack of dawn to get into Brooklyn by 6 am, load in, and then drive to wherever we were performing. I bonded quite a bit with my Lady Liberty who was awesome and funny--she was a former Miss Kentucky and Miss America contestant so she had the dish. We had similar senses of humor :) At one point the people who'd written and composed the show sat us down and told us they were hoping to take the show to Broad-way but they couldn't promise us anything casting-wise but we would get our Equity cards out of it. Needless to say none of this happened. But imagine my frustration years later when I discovered they'd ended up doing EQUITY TYA TOURS UP AND DOWN THE EAST FUCKING COAST. Where was *I* when you were doing this? Why didn't you call me so I could at least get a goddamn Equity card to make up for the shit I suffered under Avram and the incredibly hard work I did in the local school tours?? I was, and remain, genuinely pissed off about that.

So I wasn't sure if I wanted to go but in the end I said yes. And I'm really glad I did. The brother and sister writer-lyricist-composer team, Dana and Jon, saw me and actively sought me out and were extremely gracious toward me. Dana was reminiscing about my audition and just raving about my voice. "That gorgeous soprano voice! I knew right away she was our Emma." (It got a little awkward when I reminded her they'd originally cast me as Moskovitz :) She did not remember!) And Jon was VERY nice to me (I always thought he had a tiny crush on me, not enough to act on but he always seemed to respond to what I was saying or doing. Just a hunch :)

They've retooled the show into something entirely different and...I'm not sure it works, exactly. It's definitely less of a children's show but it's not quite a nuanced enough show to engage adults. I think it wears its heart on its sleeve--nothing wrong with that but it still has a junior-ish feel to it. And I think recasting Liberty as a young girl, instead of a woman, emasculates the give and take even more. Now the villain, Commissioner Walker, literally towers over this girl and looks like even more of a bully--there's no subtlety to his portrayal. It's an interesting idea but I don't think it quite works.

Also, have been working like CRAZY the past two weeks--all my regular classes plus a bunch of the premier clinics on Randall's Island. The money is terrific--my paycheck next month (we get paid mid-month) is going to be monster but the pace is a little crazy. I get up before 7, walk over to the office on the Upper West Side to help load the bus and corral rugrats, ride with everybody over to Randall's Island, coach the little ones (5-6-7 yo) for 6 hours including a lunch break and a snack break), ride back and hurry home as quickly as possible because I have to clean up and change for my office job. Still though. MONEY.

But I'm actually adjusting to the pace rather well. My feet don't hurt so much at night and I've been sleeping almost enough. (ALMOST. Last night I fell asleep unexpectedly before 10:00 and then woke up at 3 am.) And I think I'm doing a decent job with the little ones. When I first started with the clinics I was assisting one of the other coaches but last week they just handed the little ones over to me. I was flailing a bit at first but started coming up with drills and exercises and fun games that also taught skills. The website for the coaches lists articles that teach coaching skills but when I checked them out, the links were expired so I mentioned it to the head of the premiere division. He said they were having a coaches' camp in late August and he'd make sure I'd get invited to that. I also asked them for a premiere tee-shirt so I didn't have to wear the regular one--I wanted this for several reasons. 1) I already stand out--I'm the smallest coach and the only female, and I don't want to wear what the kids might think of as the uniform for the "baby" classes. 2) The regular shirt is REALLY getting worn a lot, I've had to hand wash it several times already! Anyway, got my premiere tee-shirt and it's too big but still--I don't stand out, yay! I can shrink it anyway :)

Also when I was speaking to the head coach, I saw him typing up some kind of list of names of all the coaches in the premiere division and their responsibilities and I saw my name. Yay, I've proven myself! I really do love this job (exhausted as I frequently am!).