Do I wake or sleep?

Here's the link.

At first I was all



And then I read the summary and was all



And then finally was all



Dude, WTF? What has happened to SK why is he turning into George Lucas? I'm not a hardcore SK fan by any means--he obviously has some weird issues with women (there are an enormous number of castrating bitches, harpies and terrible/indifferent mothers in his writings, and I simply cannot overlook the disgusting scene in It in the sewers when pre-teen Beverly bravely helps the 7 of them escape by....having sex with all of them. Classy, Steve). But his early stuff was GOOD. Carrie, The Shining, The Dead Zone, Firestarter, The Stand, all extremely good tight (well, except for The Stand ;) writing. I adore The Dead Zone--that really is a classic Greek tragedy, Johnny Smith is a modern Cassandra. And Firestarter--terrific thriller. I think he started losing it sometime in the '80s (when his addiction problems really started taking over) but even Cujo and Cycle of the Werewolf are very readable. But after that I think his writing really started going to seed. Some of Hearts in Atlantis is very good (the relationship between Bobby and Ted, and the story about the draft and the card game at UM, but it's full of that Dark Tower crap that started popping up in his later writings.

And now it looks as if that stuff is in this sequel. From the recap: A tribe of people called The True Knot travel in search of sustenance....The True Knot are quasi-immortal, living off the “steam” that children with the “shining” produce when they are slowly tortured to death...

What. The. Fuck? WHYYYY Stephen? Why crap all over a perfectly good set up? So effing nerdy in the worst way--unecessarily complicated, mystifying, trying way too hard to be "epic." I got so excited when I'd heard there was a sequel to The Talisman and that Dark Tower was all over that as well and I found the book incomprehensible as a result. Steve, you've already CREATED a perfectly good alternate universe, the Territories. We all instinctively understood that universe because you drew on pre-existing tropes to paint the picture for us--Queens, reluctant heroes, a quest and added some really cool stuff (the mincing Osmond, the murderous tree roots). Stop complicating it unnecessarily with these silly terms and concepts--breakers, Abbalah, can-toi. THAT IS SO GEEKY, in the way that George Lucas's Episodes 1-3 was annoyingly geeky. The reason everyone loved Eps. 4-6 was because we could immediately GET IT. The Hero with a Thousand Faces. I STILL can't tell you what Eps. 1-3 are about, and everyone knows what a huge fan of Star Wars I am!

The sequel to The Shining should be, first and foremost, a story about Danny, just as The Shining was first and foremost a story about Jack. Just as The Haunting of Hill House is a story about Eleanor. You have to ground it in people, not in this silly complicated wanna-be epic stuff.

As I said, I applied for an HPD grant: the main qualifications for this are you have to be a first-time homebuyer (I think) and you have to make under a certain amount. The grant will cover either your closing costs or your down payment (or at least help you out with it)--I'd already put down the down payment, so this would be put toward the closing costs. You have to jump through quite a few hoops for this grant--I had to take an online course for homebuyers, much of which I already knew about, and which took FOREVER, most of the week, to sit through. And as with the loan process and with the application for the building, you have to provide reams of paperwork. Luckily a lot of this paperwork is redundant. And after 2008's subprime mortgage meltdown I certainly understand (and appreciate, frankly) the need for meticulous due diligence. But after awhile I started saying "the next time I talk to Chase or HPD and they ask me for more paperwork, I'm gonna drop trou and show them my dick and say 'Because you've seen EVERYTHING else already.'"

The grant process ended up being pretty frustrating at times though--several times I'd have to send them stuff more than once. Why, I don't know, but it's annoying after emailing them XYZ, to hear several weeks later "outstanding documents include XYZ." ARGH. We actually had to extend the commitment--the original expiration was May 13 and they weren't ready yet, even though I'd sent them everything by the end of March. ARGH. Eventually the original closing date was June 14, and even that had to be pushed back to June 21. But finally it all happened, and I got an email the morning of, from Jason (my old landlord who was serving as my attorney on this) saying everything was covered so just show up with my checkbook and a photo ID. I was still nervous as I had little idea what to expect other than signing a lot of documents. I honestly felt as though I was going to vomit.

The closing went off great and Jason was right--EVERYTHING was covered. I mean everything, except for one $25 FedEx charge, for which I wrote a check. But I also got money back (I'd put down a deposit for the Offering Memorandum so I got that back, plus interest). Due to the peculiar circumstances of the building and its requirements, I also didn't have to pay a title transfer tax. So basically I walked away with an extra $75--plus I don't have to start paying off the mortgage until August. Not sure how that works but I'll take it!

I scheduled the move for Tuesday and hired movers. Griffin and Anya helped out quite a bit and I was literally RUNNING up and down the stairs (for which my calves are now chastising me). Griffin was the first friend of mine to see the new place and he was amazed. After we were done, we ate at a nearby beer-and-burger joint, did a little grocery shopping (there's a great store right on the corner with aaaaaaallll the artisanal ice cream and beers I could ever ask for) and then I started the dirty work of unpacking. As I unpacked I realized--the place is actually *bigger* than I'd remembered. (First time THAT'S ever happened since I've moved to NYC.) It's designed so intelligently that I'll have room for everything in the closets, etc. and I can keep the public areas very spare and cool and zen. AND I will *definitely* be able to invite everyone to parties (I'd worried with a studio that I'd have to really curate who I'd ask over, but it's a BIG studio). My favorite new discovery is the view--the night view is simply gorgeous. The window is huge and it looks uptown--there are several tall buildings 6-10 blocks uptown that overlook ours, plus the Metro North runs above ground there, so you have this constant glowing train passing by (but hardly any sound, the glass is very noise-proof), and of course glowing hi-rises in the distance. So, so beautiful. However I do need to put up curtains AS SOON AS POSSIBLE because the morning light is pretty strong--I've been clipping a comforter to the windows at night so I can sleep but that looks tacky :) Oh, it is all so beautiful.

I can't WAIT to try out the gym and use the terrace out back! And the laundry room! And the party room...

I've met a few of the residents so far--everyone kind of grins at each other as if to say WTH DID WE STEP IN IT OR WHAT. It's a co-op so we are all shareholders, and I would like to get on the board once I get settled. That's a ways off, as the building is only about half full right now. But I'd love to nudge them to develop/open up the rooftop sometime in the future--how awesome would that be, rooftop parties!

Can't wait to plan a housewarming party. I will post pics as soon as the place is cleaned up.

Kind of hyperventilating right now. Mot from fear--from stress. I'll tell you why in a few.

Happy Friday, y'all! Hope everyone has plans for the glorious Memorial Day Weekend now upon us--I'm going home for 3 days, woohoo! Gonna lay out at the pool, gonna cook burgers on Mom's deck, gonna play some soccer and hang with Ryan's and my old roommate, Cami.

Speaking of soccer--so I played quite a bit last weekend. I posted on FB on Friday that I was off to play a league game (i.e., a game with an already-established team that needed subs) and then after the game posted that I'd scored the one goal our team made (we were beaten quite soundly, 8-1). I have to place this in context--the reason I was a little gloaty about it on FB was because I was picking up a weird vibe from one of the other female players, like she didn't think I was very good, certainly not as good as she. It annoyed. I love proving people wrong :) On FB one of my British friends posted "I had no idea you were such a foot!" and I responded with a long-ish analysis of my strengths and weaknesses as a player--basically, I am somewhat slow (especially compared to what I used to be) and I don't really have much in the way of tricks. I am a decent passer and trapper. But my main strength is I am RELENTLESS. I never, ever let the defense rest, I am *constantly* trying to score and guess what? I score. I convert. What I do ain't pretty (pictures of me playing soccer always make me cringe) but goals are how you win the game.

Saturday I went to a regular Meetup group in Van Cortlandt Park in the Bronx--this is a nice group of people, I've only played with them a couple of times but they're super-chill. One of them even hugged me. Scored a couple there as well, then went on to softball. I also met Tim to watch the Preakness where I cried sad tears because Orb LET US DOWN. Sad, sad, sad, no Triple Crown this year. Orb--boo, you whorse!

My regular league team had a game Sunday evening. It had rained much of the day, but most of us showed up anyway since the games were still on. But our opponents never showed so we got the forfeit. The ref told us we had the field and could scrimmage if we liked, so we ended up playing 6 on 6, and some of the players were extras (not team members, just soccer players who wanted to pick up a game). This is important, as you'll see. The extras, for whatever reason, were all on my team--my team was comprised of 3 regular players and 3 extras. Now, I love my team and we all have a lot of fun together--but I've said before some of the guys are not very good at passing to the girls. One in particular, Zack, rarely does it--I get that he really wants to score but he misses a LOT of opportunities when he never passes to me (I'm usually the girl who plays forward, and therefore in scoring position, the most). Just last week he and I were both driving to the goal--he had the ball and the goalie was confronting him. He should've passed it to me at the last minute (having drawn the goalie away, I had a clear shot)--but he didn't. He never does.

So, the final score was 4-2, and my team won. Guess who scored all four goals for her team? Yep. And it was because the extra players were PASSING the ball. Two of those goals were headers after a player sent a long pass to me over several opposing players--the ball came looping over to me and BAM I headed it in. This happened twice. The guys on my team who were regular players were thrilled and not resentful at all, apparently, and the extra players on my team were asking me things like "going for the hat trick?" Zack however was on the other team and I don't think he was too happy. Admittedly I could be reading into it but--I just had that feeling. He seemed pretty frustrated by the end of the game, was taking a lot of longshots (which we'd agreed we wouldn't do). After the 3rd goal I started playing back a little, to give the other players on my team a chance to play forward and score, and in passing the ball downfield I still scored a goal. I apologized to Vlady "sorry, that was meant to be a pass to you" and with a big grin on his face, he said "hey, don't worry!" Meanwhile I could not wipe the smile off my face. Guys, I've been telling you this. I score. That's what I do. My coach's nickname in high school was Green, Green, the Scoring Machine. Start passing the ball a little. I score.

[And it must be said--I'm considerably older than these guys! I woke up the next morning still grinning--man, FOUR GOALS. Off a bunch of guys in their 20s. Hellz yeah!]

Man, this shit in Boston is unreal. The entire area is on lockdown, I can't even imagine how scared kids must be right now. It feels like the DC area during the sniper shootings, and possibly a similar dynamic--two losers propping each other up. Ugh. We have enough violent losers here ALREADY--we sure don't need people from outside the country *moving* here to be violent!

In lighter news, I had a lovely night of soccer last night, played at the same field as two weeks ago, the new full-fields at Brooklyn Bridge Park. GOD, that view is EPIC. Like something out of a movie--these gorgeous new fields with all of Southern Manhattan and the Brooklyn Bridge just across the water. Just gorgeous, it looks like the Towering Inferno (before the building catches fire).

I was asked to sub in for a game (they have to have at least 2 women on the field for this league) so I showed up and suited up. I really am Jekyll and Hyde on the field--I'm either not so good (usually due to exhaustion) or I'm ON. And man, last night was definitely the latter--I have RARELY played that well. I have no idea why, because yesterday I was pretty tired and didn't get much sleep the night before. But whatever, it came together somehow, and every pass was perfect, literally I made only two errors the entire game. The guys on the team, once they saw I could play, were passing it to me all the time, and at halftime one of them came up to me and said "EXCELLENT." I got off a few shots on goal in the first half but it finally happened in the second--I did this weird little shot from behind (i.e., I wasn't facing the goal, just kind of twisted the ball around with my right foot). It was an odd shot, not that strong but I bent it nicely (a good shot will curve) and it just kind of...curved past the goalie's hands. Bend it like Barton! :)

The other team wasn't bad--they got off some great shots that juuuust went over, or smacked the crossbar or whatever. I was chatting with a girl on the other team, saying you guys are great you're just spectacularly unlucky tonight! She said something in response and then told me (nicely) don't score again! It was cute because tensions were a-running high--several of the guy were facing off and what not. Guys, it's just a friendly league.

After the game one of the players was really, REALLY pushing for me and the other girls sub to join the team. I mean, he actually followed the captain around to push for it. I said hey, any time you need me I am up to sub. I love the weeknight games, it's a nice thing to do after work and that PARK. That VIEW. Plus there's a Shake Shack on the way home :)

Can I just say how incredibly gratifying it is to be RECRUITED like that? These guys are all very good players--and needless to say much younger than I am. It just feels awesome, is what I'm saying.

High of 60 today? High of 62 on Sunday? 65 ON MONDAY??? Don't tease me, weather gods!

Picked up a free soccer game last night for one of the leagues (they needed a woman). It was at the Brooklyn Bridge Park--I HopStopped directions, foolishly thinking it would be as easy as that. OH NO. The directions took me to a very weird place--basically the Bridge was looming on my left and over me the whole time, and I knew the park was on the other side of that so I started bearing in the direction of where I knew the park was--and ended up on the Promenade. Which has no entrance or exit except at either end, and doesn't connect to the Park at all. So there I was, stuck, hurriedly walking to the end of the Promenade, hoping to find my way down to the park (the Promenade is directly over the BQE, the park is lower down than the BQE, right on the water). Finally I made it to the park but didn't see any soccer fields anywhere--I walked for another 20 minutes and finally found them.

Nice big fields too! It's been awhile since I've played full-field but I really do prefer that--something about the scope of the game. This was a great team too, LOTS of passing--I ended up playing really well with some passes I was very proud of*, and a couple of assists. made up for the epic journey getting there!

*Including a sweet bicycle kick pass to a teammate behind me.

When I left I went a different way and walked through the 'hood of Brooklyn that's closest to where the fields were. OH MY LORD, is Brooklyn Heights gorgeous. W.O.W. What a beautiful neighborhood--and that view!

Have another game tomorrow EARLY--the game is at 9 am aaaaalllll the way down at east River Park which is days away from the nearest subway station. I will have to leave the apartment around 7:45 to get there on time. OH THE HUMANITY. But I have to get in soccer shape--I haven't been able to play for a few months outside of my Dolphman league games

Okay, this?



makes me cry sad tears. This is a promo shot of the upcoming season premiere of Mad Men. The last episode of Season 5 ended in the spring of '67--this is from the premiere, so it's the next episode, and there is snow on the ground. WHICH MEANS THEY SKIPPED THE SUMMER OF LOVE. They skipped one of my favorite happenings of the '60s, a major, major cultural event, the explosion of the counterculture! (AND was kick-started by a marketing gimmick, Scott Mackenzie's song "San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair)" which was written specifically to mpromote the Montery Pop Festival). And even though the Haight was on the West Coast, the fallout (the Haight reached critical mass very quickly and by mid-summer was crowded way over capacity) was felt here in NYC as well with the so-called "Groovy Murders." Okay, I feel a Clio entry coming on, so I'll save my Deep Thoughts for that but the Groovy Murders are really depressing. Not as depressing as the Manson murders but still pretty sad.



I'm sure I'll love Sunday's episode anyway, and I know they're going for the "NYC is getting dirtier and less safe" angle but I'm still sad :(

Friday night Tesse and I did a Right Rides shift which was fun. By the way, did you hear?

Guess who was named RightRides February Volunteer of the Month? Me!

Anyway, so Friday night was fun, if a bit offcourse. Our first pickup was at the Pleasure Chest, a sex shop in the Village near Marie's--we picked up 3 workers and were told to take them to various parts of Brooklyn. The navigator app routed us through the Battery Bridge Tunnel...which happened to be closed and under construction. We then tried to go via the Brooklyn Bridge but there was construction there as well and we were cockblocked at the entrance we wanted and had to go out of our way (and wade through traffic) before finally we were on our way to Brooklyn. We kept seeing Popeye's which started me craving a biscuit (I quoted one of Jason's best bons mots when he said excitedly "it's like the flour is made of butter!")--weirdly after we dropped off the Riders, we didn't pass any more Popeyes! And so alas, my craving was not satisfied :( Trying to go back into Manhattan caused us to rerouted over the Manhattan Bridge, and then on our way to the next pickup I accidentally took us over the Williamsburg Bridge. To cap it off, in driving the last pickup home, we ended up going to the GW Bridge. *cue sad trombone riff*

In my head, I now think of that night as The Bridges of New York County.

And in more exciting news, my league soccer team (Dolphman FC) won the championship title again! Very exciting, as we had a ROUGH start this season. We lost our first game, tied our second, and were HAMMERED In our third game, 9-3. Oy. The third game was against a thoroughly disliked team that I found out later basically everyone in the league can't stand. In fact they were docked a sportsmanship point in their game against us--they'd scored very early (in the first minute or two--our goalie was injured) and as they jogged back to midfield they were saying to each other "okay, so the goalie sucks." I glared at them and point-blank told them to shut up, it's not that kind of a league. Seriously dudes, there are a ton of leagues out there for aggressive assholes--go join one of them! I did score a goal against them which gave me a grim pleasure. It was another game in which we had no subs--for some reason half the team wasn't there--and yet AGAIN it was just Nikki and I the whole game! Not the first time :/

But that seems to have been the turning point--we won every game after that. I had a kind of cool goal in one of them--I was deep on the other team's half of the field, and someone on our team (maybe even me, I can't remember) kicked it out. One of their players was technically on the sidelines but very close to the goal, so he threw it to the goalie, thinking (I suppose) that I would just let them have it, that I wouldn't challenge them. Oh no! I scooted up and intercepted the throw (as I did so, I heard the goalie say "oh shit...") and quickly whipped off a pass to one of our forwards, Brian, who scored. Yay! I like to think of that as carving out a goal where there wasn't one before--I created that goal! :) Brian totally gave me props later. I had another moment when one of their players was dribbling about mid-field--a little casually I thought, so I came from behind and just took it away from him. I was telling my mother about it on the phone later and she was all "you used to do that all the time as a girl, you'd just sneak through their legs and take the ball away from them." Some habits die hard!

So yeah, we had the quarterfinals last week which we won, and then the semis yesterday, against a team which we'd beaten in the regular season, but just by one goal. We beat them again and we were off to play the grey team, who'd been undefeated in the regular season. They were GOOD. Very, very strong. And we had just finished our game, whereas their semifinal had been right before ours and they'd had some time to rest. But I felt that both teams were playing sort of tentatively in the first half, although they were slightly dominant. But in the second half we finally scored, and then another one--they scored as well but to no avail, and we ended up winning. Really, we were pretty shocked! What was really nice is there was no grudginess about it--we played hard but clean, and several times one of their defenders and I helped each other up after hitting the other. Just a nice classy team. And they applauded us when they got to the bar, which of course we returned. One of their girls is known for making cake pops and other yummy things for the games, and she'll share them at the bar--I told her how the previous week I'd made homemade chocolate toffee (I have a great recipe for it, you don't even need a candy thermometer although it did take me a few rounds to get the toffee consistency perfect). Their captain's eyes gleamed (he's British, they love toffee) and he TOLD me "you have to bring that for the spring season!"



We had a lot of fun at the bar--the newer members of the team were marveling at the victory, since our first two titles came before many of them had joined the team. *I* was marveling, since we'd had such a terrible start! Our worst season (in fact we still have a negative goal differential!) and yet we ended up as the champions. Apparently this did not sit too well with the black team--one of them drunkenly told one of our teammates that we "didn't really deserve to be champions." Uh, not only did we beat you TWICE, we also beat the grey team who beat you! So suck it :) Anyway we were bonding quite a bit at the bar, and then I found out that two of our other players also had motorcycle licenses. That was it--the Dolphman Biker Road Trip is ON. How much fun would that be, a bunch of us all on bikes, with a few sidecars? Seth, our large-ish goalie, "called" sitting in my sidecar which made me giggle--little Clara atop the bike with big Seth squeezed into the sidecar! Get your motor running...

The next season starts in a month or so--we're back at Baruch Fields on Sunday nights. I detest that crappy field, but I love the bar! The bartender there is really cute ;)

After I got back from New orleans I was jogging and came across a couple of discarded wine boxes outside PJ's (liquor store in Inwood). I grabbed them and decided to turn one into a shadowbox.

I couldn't find a huge fleur de lis stencil (or indeed any) so I made one myself--picked up a lot of stuff at Lee's including paint brushes, paint, spraypaint, and cut-your-own-stencils. Then I found a fleur de lis on line and blew it up and traced it onto the plastic and cut that out. Then I spray-painted it in antique gold on the inside. I wanted it to be a little blurry and messy, like New Orleans :) Then I spatter-painted the inside in purple, green and gold.

I also got some New Orleans-themed scrapbooking stickers (again, from Lee's) and added those to give the interior some texture. Check out all my gen-yew-ine NO artifacts--including REAL Spanish moss! I'd love to add some lights as well, but I'll have to drill a hole into the back. The great thing is I can continue to add stuff every time I go back!









I love my blurry-edged city on the rivah :)

My favorite line:

Lord Grantham: If I'd screamed blue murder every time someone tried to kiss me at Eton, I'd have been hoarse within a month.

Ah Lord G, I love your breezy aristocratic nonchalance. Your refreshing lack of judgment next to Carson's sputtering (if historically correct) homophobia is a welcome contrast to the rest of your behavior this season. But it's not that surprising after all--as Lord G said "I thought everyone knew about Thomas?" I remember in Season 1 when Mrs. Patmore haltingly tried to explain to Daisy why her crush was unlikely to bear fruit. "He's not for you...he's not a ladies man...Thomas is a troubled soul!"

Why I love this show: as weak as the writing can be, the characters *are* well-rounded. Thomas had rare dignity and grace in the midst of his humiliation. (Tho' Jimmy came off as a git, for sure.)