Le Weekend--RH rehearsals, Marie's drama

[ceebeegee]

I'm confused--will Netflix still be offering DVDs?  Because that's all I want--I generally do not stream movies, as then I'm stuck sitting at my tiny laptop with no extras, instead of watching the movie on my huge TV, wandering around the apartment if I need to, with the option of the commentary track.

Told Tim about Rocky Horror, he is thrilled.  He looooves musicals and is always wondering when I'll do one--since I've known him, I've mostly done straight plays.  We are getting together this weekend so I'll have to explain to him exactly what kind of show Rocky Horror is so his mind is blown!

We had the RH sitz probe on Saturday, although they'd sent us the tracks the night before so I was prepared.  Afterward a bunch of us went to East L.A. in Hoboken to eat--I found out that the guy playing Brad was gay and the guy playing Frank is straight.  I really must recalibrate my gaydar, I was very surprised about the Brad-guy.  Mateo (Frank), not so much--I was surprised more because, as I said to him, "I guess I just assume that whoever's playing Frank is gay."  He responded "Tim Curry isn't." Me: "You...have an excellent point, that's a stupid assumption on my part!"  We hung out for awhile and then Steven and I left for Marie's together. On our way there I stopped at a new candy store and bought a big bag and shared it with everyone at the piano.  I wasn't sure if Franca recognized me, but not only did she, but she was mock-annoyed that I even dared to remind her who I was (I came into Marie's saying "I'm Duncan's friend?" because I don't go to Marie's all that often and I thought she might not remember me!).  Lots of fun, at one point she was playing songs from Rocky Horror, so when we did "Time Warp" I changed into my tap shoes and did the number right there on the Marie's floor, everybody loved it!

We've learned the choreography for the four big numbers ("Time Warp," "Sweet Transvestite," "Hot Patootie" and the Floor Show) and this week we learn blocking and the staging for the other numbers.  I am loving the dance numbers for this--they are very cute.  Not difficult technically but a LOT of little, cute steps that I have to drill over and over.

On the subject of Duncan's post yesterday about a Facebook-friend-of-a-Facebook-friend who tried to shame everyone into giving large amounts of money to help their mutual friend whose laptop had been stolen...a friend of mine posted last week begging for everyone to send him money.  The original comment read:

I NEED EVERYONE'S HELP. This is an experiment/ test to see if I can rely on friends in a time of need. I would like everyone to see if they could send me $5. (10/ 20?) I'm not kidding. What's $5 (10/ 20) to you? But, collectively, it could help save me in a time of desperation. I am moments away from being evicted, filing for bankruptcy, and being homeless.
My address is:
[Name]
[Address]
This is not meant to be a "pity party." This is not a joke. This is the reality of the situation. Something major happened late in 2008 that forever altered my finances. Now I'm at the end of my rope and there is no hope for a solution without the help of friends or a job that pays decent money. Please, help me save my house. I am desperate and don't know what else to do. Forward this to anyone who might be able to help.

This is an experiment?  In other words, you're just trying to see how people will react, under controlled conditions?  Because that makes it sound hypothetical, whereas the rest of the post makes it sound like a dire emergency.  Second, the blithe tone of "what's $5/10/20 to you" sits ill on me.  $20 is PLENTY.  You don't get to make assumptions about my finances like that.  Third, the "something major" that happened was...well, let's just say he made a bad choice and suffered the consequences.  As much as it sucks to lose your home, and I know he's trying, but this didn't just "happen" to him.

I have strong feelings about people who try to shame other people into giving them money (or anything) like that.  In 2008 someone who was on the R&J team (who'd asked to be on the team) suddenly and dramatically had to quit because they were "about to be evicted" but if I could lend them $2000 (they promised to pay me back) they could stay.  Oh, barf.  I hardly know you, dude, how dare you put me on the spot like that?  You ask your family and close friends for that kind of help, not just anybody.  This guy (FB guy) is an okay person, has a good heart, but he is sort of a drama queen.  Ryan and I know him from the dinner theater circuit, and when he came out of the closet (shocking absolutely no one), he made a pass at Ryan who declined.  The guy tried to shame Ryan into reciprocating saying it was really hard for him to come out, and Ryan should feel sorry for him and he was all in tears, saying "I won't take no for an answer" and oh my Lord.  Dude, that is not how sexual attraction works.  Pity is pathetic, a total anti-aphrodisiac.  In the arena of sex, you gotta deal from strength. 

And just analyzing the effectiveness of this plea--sending it to everybody, and then asking them to forward it to anybody....not a good idea.  A mass appeal like this dilutes its impact.  And forwarding it isn't going to help at all--no stranger is going to help such a vaguely worded plea for money.  Close friends and family, dude.  He reposted the original plea again this morning.

I want to be compassionate and help people who really need help--this is why dramatic people annoy me, because they abuse people's compassion.

Comments

[ginmar.livejournal.com]

$2000?!?! Jesus Christ!

I have some friends who really are going through some awful shit and.....they try and blame themselves. The last thing they want to do is ask for help. You know damn well that guy who was getting evicted would never pay you back that money, ever. Eviction is a lengthy process, usually caused by things like....not paying rent for a good long while. Not just once. A long line of months where rent was not paid. On top of that, there's the process itself, which allows the renter to live basically rent free while the case is in court.

Trying to whine somebody into bed gives a whole meaning the phrase wine and dine---and not in a good way.

I've got friends I send food to, because there's times where they just don't have the money for that. And there's lots more. Lots of people just can't bring themselves to ask for help. It's Dickensian in some parts of the country.

[ceebeegee.livejournal.com]

I know, right?! And that *wasn't* a mass email like the FB post, he specifically sent that to just two people (me and the director, neither of whom knew him that well) in the course of quitting the show. SO INAPPROPRIATE. I lend money to my close friends all the time but I am very business-like about it because yes, I do need to be paid back and the more business-like we are, the more clear about repayment schedules, etc., the better it is all around. But someone I don't know well? I'm not going to lend you that much money, and I think it's rude of you to ask.

I will help strangers (I sent money to the Amish families after that horrible schoolhouse massacre in 2006 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amish_school_shooting)--and I sent money to the poor widow of the freak that killed those girls, it wasn't her fault her husband's a monster). I truly believe we are all put on this planet to help each other out. (An attitude that has led me down some unfortunate paths...if you have the time, you might find this tale interesting (http://ceebeegee.livejournal.com/?skip=40&tag=the%20situation). Basically a friend-of-a-friend stayed with my roommate and me for what was supposed to be a couple of weeks, and when the time she was supposed to leave rolled around, she refused to go, threatened the two of us, called the cops on me in my own apartment, screamed in my face and a few days later fled, and left her stuff in the living room for several months--and then sued us claiming we were prostitutes, we physically attacked her for no reason, and we'd destroyed all her stuff. (Naturally this was all laughed out of court.) If you have the time, it is very entertaining, and quite a look into NYC tenant law which is very pro-tenant. Even though she wasn't on the lease or anything like that, we still had to start the process of evicting her formally.) But I won't help anyone who shoves their cup in my face and demands it.

Whine and dine--that is hilarious!

[ginmar.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear God, I'm reading that saga now and....yeah. Holy shit. It seems like there's little ground, is there? There's either horribly victimized people, or there's horrible scam artists who have no shame. I'm kind of fascinated by the latter----how do they live like that?

I actually like helping people but I've gotten burned a time or two. (I left a comment on that older entry of yours because it's locked so you can read some of hte details.)

The thing is, the scammers really feel justified in doing what they do. And I want to know why, because it's so obviously wrong and fake. The idea of your kitty falling out of the window made me cringe----and then my kitty came over and laid his head on my shoulder.

After I tossed M out of the house for repeatedly not holding up her end of the bargain, she told the cops we were involved and that I was abusive. I gave them her birthdate and suggested they look for drugs and run her record. Still. She tried to take Snowball with her-----can you imagine?

[ceebeegee.livejournal.com]

Isn't it insane? She was/is absolutely, certifiably crazy (that said, not so crazy she didn't know what she was doing when she tricked us--she knew just how long she had to stay in the apartment to make it harder to kick her out). An unbelievably well-developed sense of entitlement--one of the classic quotations from The Saga was hearing her on the phone, after she'd tried to get me arrested in my own apartment, whining to someone "Oy'm the victuhm heah!"

Wait 'til you get to the two court appearances--she screamed at the court officials--more than once! And the thing with my cats--you do NOT fuck with my cats' welfare.

What was so hard to get over was that we'd tried to help her--we didn't have to let her stay with us. We thought we were helping out the friend-of-a-friend who was looking for an apartment. Actors do this because we're all so poor. MAN, did it backfire. I was depressed about that for months, like why bother to help anyone? Why be nice, why try to live up to my Christian ideals, if this is the result? The fact that on my part, I have some incredible, wonderful friends who helped me deal with this and showed up for me in court was a wonderful perspective check, and helped immensely. Made me realize how ultimately lucky I truly am.

I'll check out your comment later.

[ginmar.livejournal.com]

The thing is, I think if you're a decent honest person you're just going to run into one of these scammers, because honest people simply aren't suspicious. You can't let it affect you disproportionately----look at all the wonderful friends you have. But, yeah, it just amazes me that there are people like this----all the effort it takes them to scam people, why don't they try and be honest? It's the same amount of effort, if not more, so why must they always go for the scam? I mean, you look at this stuff, and it's time consuming and laborious and hard. She could have done herself immeasurable amounts of good if she had been nice and considerate.

One choice I had to face overseas is this, after that battle and after other horrible things: you have to decide how to view people. I remember thinking, "Were you one of those people trying to kill us yesterday?" It's chilling. And then you have to choose how that fear affects your dealings with people----do you assume they're bad or that they're good or neutral?

The thing is, you did a good thing---or tried to, but holy cow she really worked at making it bad, didn't she? And I'm sure you'll do this in the future, too.

I looked back and the biggest link I found was that scammers always feel incredible self pity and seem to think it gives them carte blanche. They're at the victim of everyone, but if you actually talk to people in their past you'll find that they're the ones doing the hurting, and there's often a trail of wreckage behind them. They never ever hurt themselves. Sounds like she really tried to conceal a lot of stuff from you till she got her foot in the door, but you really didn't have the necessary info----she concealed herself from that friend, too, as I seem to recall, right? What can you do, how can you suspect something that there's no reason to suspect till the bovine excrement hits the fan?

[chillygator.livejournal.com]

Oh my tacky.....

...but amazing.

What on earth is wrong with people?

We had a lady in our neighborhood who was going on a vacation to Europe and went door-to-door collecting money so she could buy souvenirs since they spent all their money on flights and lodging and stuff.

It was weird.

[ceebeegee.livejournal.com]

Oh my Lord! Door to DOOR? I just--wow.

[chillygator.livejournal.com]

Well...she also made an announcement in church (o:

Funny times, we had (o: