Mental Stuff

Sometimes I think I'm getting more...headcase-y as I get older. I have a few mental quirks--one of them is that I have a horribly high gag reflex and it's often triggered by other people's...well...bodily functions. Example, I CANNOT be around other people when they get sick or I will gag myself and have been known to sympathy-vomit. Basically, The Revenge of Lard-Ass Hogan (from Stephen King's The Body which was made into the movie Stand By Me) is definitely within the realm of possibility for me! But really, any kind of bodily fluids coming from someone else will do it--as much as I love kids, if they don't blow their nose I really, really struggle. In fact just thinking about this now is making me heave. Don't even get me started on bodily fluids from the other end. And it's not just humans, it's cats and dogs--I have literally vomited cleaning out the cat box. One time I woke up and Tatia'd had an accident--everything came up and I kept wanting to get sick again for the next two days. That was bad.

But it wasn't always this intense. Not sure what's going on, maybe I've just had more time to think about it. I have always had a very hard time swallowing pills--I just COULD NOT as a kid. I dreaded having to take any kind of medication in pill form and one time I got in trouble for hiding my vitamins behind the trash can instead of taking them. (And I remember when I was 6 I was on some kind of week-long medication regimen and one morning the pill went down--I literally jumped for joy, I was so happy.) Most of the time I'd just chew them up--you can imagine how great that tasted. And then in 8th grade I remember trying a new trick--I just shoved the pill as far back as I could and gulped a ton of water and voila! Now I could swallow pills, yay! Still didn't help with the bodily fluid revulsion though. I have an elaborate coping system though--I look away and either take ginger (not ginger pills, just straight ginger spice) or I can think of ginger and that helps. Thinking of lemons also helps. But I have to get the picture out of my head.

Anyway so I have another weird anxiety thing--I really, really do not like talking to certain kinds of strange people on the phone. I'm fine calling someone up in, say, customer service or making a reservation or whatever, because those people's jobs are to speak with strangers. But when I have to call someone who's not expecting a phone call and try to explain who I am, why I'm calling--ugh, I just want to die, I can't explain it. I'm fine with email or texting but the dynamics of a phone conversation with a stranger literally makes my heart race. My dad is the same way, maybe it's genetic!

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Also, have been working like CRAZY the past two weeks--all my regular classes plus a bunch of the premier clinics on Randall's Island. The money is terrific--my paycheck next month (we get paid mid-month) is going to be monster but the pace is a little crazy. I get up before 7, walk over to the office on the Upper West Side to help load the bus and corral rugrats, ride with everybody over to Randall's Island, coach the little ones (5-6-7 yo) for 6 hours including a lunch break and a snack break), ride back and hurry home as quickly as possible because I have to clean up and change for my office job. Still though. MONEY.

But I'm actually adjusting to the pace rather well. My feet don't hurt so much at night and I've been sleeping almost enough. (ALMOST. Last night I fell asleep unexpectedly before 10:00 and then woke up at 3 am.) And I think I'm doing a decent job with the little ones. When I first started with the clinics I was assisting one of the other coaches but last week they just handed the little ones over to me. I was flailing a bit at first but started coming up with drills and exercises and fun games that also taught skills. The website for the coaches lists articles that teach coaching skills but when I checked them out, the links were expired so I mentioned it to the head of the premiere division. He said they were having a coaches' camp in late August and he'd make sure I'd get invited to that. I also asked them for a premiere tee-shirt so I didn't have to wear the regular one--I wanted this for several reasons. 1) I already stand out--I'm the smallest coach and the only female, and I don't want to wear what the kids might think of as the uniform for the "baby" classes. 2) The regular shirt is REALLY getting worn a lot, I've had to hand wash it several times already! Anyway, got my premiere tee-shirt and it's too big but still--I don't stand out, yay! I can shrink it anyway :)

Also when I was speaking to the head coach, I saw him typing up some kind of list of names of all the coaches in the premiere division and their responsibilities and I saw my name. Yay, I've proven myself! I really do love this job (exhausted as I frequently am!).