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[personal profile] ceebeegee
Interesting article about "deal breakers."

I have a problem with the slant of this article--that women are the only gender who have deal breakers. In fact that was a running joke on Seinfeld about how inexlicably picky he and George were. And I think the concept of deal breakers is ill-defined. Any woman would be pissed at some of the behavior portrayed. Like "There's the dumb remark, as in 'I guess I should have told you I was a drug dealer.' Or: 'Do you know you have cellulite on your legs?' " I mean, duh!

But then this pissed me off, on behalf of the guys:

Who pays for a date can also be a big deal. Two generations ago, the man was expected to. A generation later, women paid their own way. Today, many young ladies silently embrace the notion that the guy should pay if he can afford it -- but guys don't seem to have caught on.

Fuck that. I cannot stand women who expect that. I saw a Today show segment about that a few years ago and my head exploded--the would-be princesses dissing any man who didn't pay. Fuck. That. Men are not banks, and women are not princesses. We are all adults. And not to mention, money comes with strings attached sometimes.

OTOH, this also pissed me off:

Chanel Hill, a GW junior, was pursued in high school by a guy whom she finally agreed to go out with once she got to college. He asked her to dinner, assuring her "You won't have to pay for a thing." They took the Metro to Union Station, dined at Johnny Rocket's, laughed over old times. Then the bill came. "It lay on the table for 10, 15, then 20 minutes," Hill recalls. "I went to the bathroom and when I came back, it was still there." Finally, the young man asked, "Chanel, what are you going to contribute?"

Dude. If you offer to pay, you should pay. A guy once asked me out, named the restaurant (and it wasn't cheap) and then asked for a contribution at the end--and I was pretty poor at the time. He did pay most of it but I thought that was very poor form. If I'd known he wanted a contribution, I would've suggested a less expensive restaurant.

But then, again OTOH, this infuriated me:

Some of her girlfriends expect to be spoiled, she says. Kalinger, though, doesn't like expensive gifts. When a boy she had been seeing for two weeks gave her a diamond heart necklace from Tiffany & Co., she cut loose. But she kept the necklace.

Sooooooooooo tacky. Unbelievably poor form. You kept a Tiffany diamond heart necklace??? And dumped the guy? I'm just shaking my head at that. I can't believe her mother let her do that.

Re: Excuse ME...

Date: 2004-06-16 01:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foulpost.livejournal.com
paying for everything is really about an establishment of power. It says "I can take care of you, let me prove it". There resides in the display of financial confidence a surrogate for a more primal directive. Slap down that credit card and beat your chest. It's part of the mating show.

Re: Excuse ME...

Date: 2004-06-16 01:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mollyx.livejournal.com
I KNEW IT!!
I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!

Re: Excuse ME...

Date: 2004-06-16 01:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ceebeegee.livejournal.com
Ooga ooga! Me manly man. Me whip out huge penis plat-i-num card and pay bill. You get engorged and tingly at my primitive display of financial security and give it up.

Re: Excuse ME...

Date: 2004-06-16 01:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foulpost.livejournal.com
Glad you got the joke.

Re: Excuse ME...

Date: 2004-06-16 01:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mysticblaze.livejournal.com
In retrospect, I think that is what my ex was doing. The worst part is that I got used to it, and now I am paying the price.

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