Do I wake or sleep?

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting or needing money, or hoping for it, especially because it's certainly a custom for some people to give it. Where I draw the line is asking for it, expecting it, demanding it. It leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. It turns the whole thing into a financial transaction, especially that formula of "pay as much as they're spending on your plate at the reception" (sorry, Mike!). First of all, how are you supposed to calculate that? Especially if you don't even know until you get to the reception, at which point most people have already bought the gift. And what if you got a great deal on the wedding gift--are you supposed to fork over the remainder for the couple as well? And most importantly, what about the poor friends you may have? One year I was invited to 7 weddings, of which I was in 4 (either bridesmaid, MOH or singer). I got so panicky I had to decline a couple--I couldn't afford much of anything that year. If someone had told me I was obliged to give a gift even if I didn't go to ceremony, I would've hung up on them. Luckily my friends are nicer than that. I had to give some of them presents almost a year later--I held a mass "reverse wedding shower," wherein I presented four brides with presents which they all found amusing. But then there was the bridal shower (also that year) wherein I had to give a plant because I couldn't afford ANYTHING more. Again, my friend was really nice but I did get some looks from the older women there.

It just really bothers me seeing what should be a joyous occasion turned into this mass grab, this commercial venture. Stop calculating what people are spending and just be happy they're there. It should not be about the presents.