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ceebeegee"Nobody REALLY Knows What Happened"--Yes, We Do"
One great excerpt:
[Responding to the complete speculation that Rihanna "asked for it" by hitting Brown first--all emphases are mine]
But what if she hit him? Jimi Izrael, one of The Root’s bloggers asked, “when is Rihanna gonna be prosecuted for hitting Brown?” Even if she slapped him first, Brown’s conduct was disproportionate and brutal. Trying to find a sense of gender symmetry to domestic violence is the equivalent of white people pointing out incidents of black bigotry to refute the reality of systematic and institutional white supremacy. Of course, a woman should never hit a man. And of course, there are women who commit domestic violence against men. They should be prosecuted and receive counseling, just as male batterers should. But the vast and overwhelming instances of domestic violence are still just what we imagine: Men and boys physically abusing their girlfriends and wives. (Here in Baltimore, where I live, we’re starting to hear about a disturbing new trend: Sons beating their mothers.) Eighty-five percent of domestic violence victims nationwide are women. The fact that women can be perpetrators and men their victims doesn’t change this reality.
Nor should we submit to the view that domestic violence can legitimately be provoked by words. When couples say hateful things to each other, we call it “an argument.” Domestic violence is not an argument. It’s not “a fight.” People call it those things so they won’t have to call the police or intervene. Or take sides. Or give up admiring someone they love.
One great excerpt:
[Responding to the complete speculation that Rihanna "asked for it" by hitting Brown first--all emphases are mine]
But what if she hit him? Jimi Izrael, one of The Root’s bloggers asked, “when is Rihanna gonna be prosecuted for hitting Brown?” Even if she slapped him first, Brown’s conduct was disproportionate and brutal. Trying to find a sense of gender symmetry to domestic violence is the equivalent of white people pointing out incidents of black bigotry to refute the reality of systematic and institutional white supremacy. Of course, a woman should never hit a man. And of course, there are women who commit domestic violence against men. They should be prosecuted and receive counseling, just as male batterers should. But the vast and overwhelming instances of domestic violence are still just what we imagine: Men and boys physically abusing their girlfriends and wives. (Here in Baltimore, where I live, we’re starting to hear about a disturbing new trend: Sons beating their mothers.) Eighty-five percent of domestic violence victims nationwide are women. The fact that women can be perpetrators and men their victims doesn’t change this reality.
Nor should we submit to the view that domestic violence can legitimately be provoked by words. When couples say hateful things to each other, we call it “an argument.” Domestic violence is not an argument. It’s not “a fight.” People call it those things so they won’t have to call the police or intervene. Or take sides. Or give up admiring someone they love.
