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Sep. 8th, 2004 05:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ceebeegeeI'm reading the website The Stained Apron right now at work--it's a site devoted to the complaints and revenge of servers against obnoxious customers and abusive management. There's a page called "Sweet Revenge" that literally has me laughing so hard I'm crying. This is the best:
Small Pleasures
One trick that always brought joy to the servers I worked with at a chain restaurant was to hide cooked or raw food, preferably fish, in places that we knew no one would ever clean (which, in a corporate environment, is practically anywhere besides large, major surfaces). The game was to see how long the food would stick around and how much it would stink before a manager noticed. A good spot was inside the bases of booths, since there were so many, and no one ever lifted up the seats to see what was in there. (We were supposed to roll fifty sets of silverware in napkins every night, but we would just use the same set and hide it again under a different booth seat, night after night, after showing it to management. No one ever caught on.) Some servers would do things such as dump milk behind counters that couldn't be moved out for cleaning. The place would really start to smell!
One of the managers decided we were putting too much cheese on the salads, so instead of putting the shredded cheese in an open container to be spooned out, he bought a can with only a few small holes in the lid. Of course it was impossible to get any cheese out of this. So every night as we were cleaning up, someone would quietly throw the cheese lid away. This manager was wiser than most and eventually knew to sift the garbage for the lid (and we had a LOT of garbage). Then we started hiding the lids around the restaurant or taking them home. The manager ran around screaming for the lids and threatening to fire anyone who touched them. It warmed our hearts, but our faces remained blank with ignorance.
In the fall, management decorated the place with stuffed scarecrows, hay, gourds, pumpkins, etc. At every opportunity, we would pose the scarecrow holding a longish gourd as his dick. It took a while for management to notice, but the customers certainly reacted. The gourds were taken away, so then we just put the scarecrow's hands down his pants. Eventually the scarecrows were removed.
For Halloween, we were supposed to dress up in costume. Have you ever tried to wait on customers at a huge, high volume, very messy, cramped restaurant while wearing a clown suit and floppy shoes or a witch hat and cape? Naturally no one wanted to dress up, since the guests ignored the costumes anyway. Someone hit on the idea of dressing as college students, so most servers came in wearing regular sweatshirts and sweatpants. Given that we usually wore formal server garb, the sweats look seemed very lazy and unprofessional, as we hoped it would. The next year, there was a costume rule: no sweatpants, so people wore t-shirts and jeans.
It reminds me of when I worked at Baskin-Robbins in high school, and we would make Nazi Clown Cones (upside-down cones, with the cone as the hat--they were called Clown Cones. We decorated the hats with frosting swastikas instead of pom-poms).
Small Pleasures
One trick that always brought joy to the servers I worked with at a chain restaurant was to hide cooked or raw food, preferably fish, in places that we knew no one would ever clean (which, in a corporate environment, is practically anywhere besides large, major surfaces). The game was to see how long the food would stick around and how much it would stink before a manager noticed. A good spot was inside the bases of booths, since there were so many, and no one ever lifted up the seats to see what was in there. (We were supposed to roll fifty sets of silverware in napkins every night, but we would just use the same set and hide it again under a different booth seat, night after night, after showing it to management. No one ever caught on.) Some servers would do things such as dump milk behind counters that couldn't be moved out for cleaning. The place would really start to smell!
One of the managers decided we were putting too much cheese on the salads, so instead of putting the shredded cheese in an open container to be spooned out, he bought a can with only a few small holes in the lid. Of course it was impossible to get any cheese out of this. So every night as we were cleaning up, someone would quietly throw the cheese lid away. This manager was wiser than most and eventually knew to sift the garbage for the lid (and we had a LOT of garbage). Then we started hiding the lids around the restaurant or taking them home. The manager ran around screaming for the lids and threatening to fire anyone who touched them. It warmed our hearts, but our faces remained blank with ignorance.
In the fall, management decorated the place with stuffed scarecrows, hay, gourds, pumpkins, etc. At every opportunity, we would pose the scarecrow holding a longish gourd as his dick. It took a while for management to notice, but the customers certainly reacted. The gourds were taken away, so then we just put the scarecrow's hands down his pants. Eventually the scarecrows were removed.
For Halloween, we were supposed to dress up in costume. Have you ever tried to wait on customers at a huge, high volume, very messy, cramped restaurant while wearing a clown suit and floppy shoes or a witch hat and cape? Naturally no one wanted to dress up, since the guests ignored the costumes anyway. Someone hit on the idea of dressing as college students, so most servers came in wearing regular sweatshirts and sweatpants. Given that we usually wore formal server garb, the sweats look seemed very lazy and unprofessional, as we hoped it would. The next year, there was a costume rule: no sweatpants, so people wore t-shirts and jeans.
It reminds me of when I worked at Baskin-Robbins in high school, and we would make Nazi Clown Cones (upside-down cones, with the cone as the hat--they were called Clown Cones. We decorated the hats with frosting swastikas instead of pom-poms).
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Date: 2004-09-08 03:41 pm (UTC)-Chris "not evil" Combs
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Date: 2004-09-08 04:51 pm (UTC)