"I cannot choose but weep..."

[ceebeegee]

We had our final performance of Shakespeare's Women Return tonight. During the Ophelia monologue, as I was saying "I cannot choose but weep to think they should lay him in the cold ground," I thought of my father, dead, lying in the cold ground, and--the line felt different. It hit me quite hard--I started crying and changed my blocking slightly. At the end, I just knelt there limply, singing "he is gone, he is gone, and we cast away moan/Gramercy on his soul," and pretty much collapsed. I exited and recovered fine backstage but the whole thing was odd. I almost never cry on stage; I wish I could do it more but there's a line of control I find it difficult to cross, although I'm able to lose myself the rest of the time usually.

You just have to listen to what you're saying. Theater games, pretending to be a sled or an ice cream cone--none of that works for me. Just listen to what you're saying, and allow yourself to feel it, and that'll take you 75% of the way there.