From a theater website...

[ceebeegee]

If Mama was healthy we'd have a full house,
As sold out as sold out can be,
But Mama calls out very often, the louse,
So people get mad and get refunds, you see...
When Mama's not healthy...

If Mama was healthy, there'd be no despair,
And no one would give us a "Boo!"
She'd get all the naysayers out of her hair,
And once and for all, she'd get Reidel out, too..
If Mama was healthy...

Maureen gets out her spare dress!
She's done it before--
With equal success--
Maureen, God speed and God bless,
She knows the whole score--
And doesn't need rest!
Oh, Mama be smart
And go see a doctor today.
I'll gladly support you,
I'll even escort you--
And I'll gladly show you the way!
Oh Mama, get healthy today!

If Mama was healthy there wouldn't be any more--
"Let me reimburse you."
"She's been out a while."
"Do they think we're rich?"
"She is such a bitch."
"She's out, Louise!"
"What a baby!"

Mama, please take our advice:
They hate diva runts,
When paying full price.
Mama, this habit ain't nice,
You're in the show once
Then miss the show twice!

It could be so nice
If Mama got healthy to stay.
But Mama gets sickly--
And--
Sickly--
And--
Sickly
And still gets the part anyway.
Oh Mama,
Oh Mama,
Oh Mama, get healthy today!