ceebeegee | Jun. 24th, 2005

So, yesterday Oprah re-ran the taping where Tom Cruise made an ass of himself, and I taped it. (Yes, I have an unnatural fascination with freaks, whether they be of nature or, in his case, suppressed nature.) From what I saw so far, he didn't seem *that* over the top, although Defamer certainly thought so (hee!). But one word kept running through my mind as I watched him talk about "Kate" and what a "great woman" she was and how much he "admired her work." Fakefakefakefakefakefakefake. Fakeityfakefakefake. I don't believe in this relationship for a second--it's hard to put into words why (although the fact that he couldn't tell how they met--he stammered and laughed and mugged at the audience for quite. some. time. after Oprah point-blank asked him "I heard you called her up and arranged for a meeting"--may have triggered my BS detector just a bit). It just all seemed so--fake. I thought he was a better actor than that. I stopped the tape about 20 minutes into to get ready for bed and then it hit me--he reminds me of He Who Must Not Be Named. He has that same breezy fake demeanor, that "weary sincerity" crap that HWMNBN exudes in his emails. (A horrifying thought--how would HWMNBN react if he were in a relationship, which by definition would be fake since who would date him?)?

Further observations--the man is TINY. OMG, I think he's smaller than I am. I was just marveling at the itty-bitty waist.

I wonder if Oprah can breathe with her nose that firmly up his butt? I mean, ease up a bit, girl. No one's asking you to be Seymour Hersh but the celebrity-worship was a bit much.

The women in the Oprah audience need to get. out. more. I could not believe the screaming, the crying, the sagging into friends' arms. You'd think it was a fucking Elvis appearance--I fully expected to see a thong thrown up on the stage (and not by Tiny Tom. Hey, there's an idea--he could do A Christmas Carol this December. "God bless us, everyone!").