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8. DO NOT review any book about Ayn Rand. Even if you rave it, her gremlins will find something to go bananas about and write you a letter: 'Dear Social Metaphysician! Examine your anti-Objectivist premises and you will see that your epistemology stinks!!!'

I loved this author in high school and college. She wrote a bunch of great books, including Southern Ladies and Gentlemen, Confessions of a Failed Southern Lady and my favorite, When Sisterhood Was in Flower. The latter has a section where the protagonist is writing porn novels and hates it, and develops a writerly tic as a reaction to her situation--maniacally elegant grammar, such as:

On whom did you go down?
His cock is not so large as Bob's.
I have fewer rubbers than I thought.
If this be the clap, I'll kill you.
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ceebeegee

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