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On Gymnastics and Backlash
I read an article on Salon.com about a new book that's coming out about women's gymnastics, a memoir by an athlete who competed in the '80s, Jennifer Sey. It sounds very interesting. Actually the article is an interview with the athlete herself who matter-of-factly talks about eating disorders, the de facto physical abuse and the inherent skeeviness of some of it.
Throughout the book, you make elliptical references to male coaches who are attracted to young girls and imply that your own personal coach, John, was one of them. What did you mean when you said that he was "lewd and lascivious" and "may have liked being near all the barely dressed teens, but … never explicitly let on"?
He was never inappropriate with us, but he was a really flirty guy, and we all saw that. And sometimes the women he flirted with were very close to our age -- 18, 19 years old, and we were 15 or 16. There were a lot of things he did that made me feel weird -- he was a weird guy. The conditions of the sport are strange, and that was what I was trying to say. Most men that coach women gymnasts have never been gymnasts themselves. So I always wondered, even as a child: Why do these men want to coach little girls? In some instances, it's purely financial. But I think in the minority of cases, there are men who are interested in little girls.
I've always wondered that myself! Steve Nunno and Bela Karolyi weren't gymnasts--I'm not even sure they were athletes! (I don't know that much about Al Fong's background but his coaching career has been pretty cursed--TWO dead gymnasts?) I always thought men who only coached girls have this need to be the ram among ewes--the unquestioned authority figure because girls are eager to please and will push themselves for that (this applies to younger boys as well, but IMO as boys get older they're more likely to rebel than girl athletes). And frankly, yeah, there is the skeeve factor--any guy who chooses to coach only girls (as opposed to a mixture of boys and girls) is always going to seem a little weird. Bela Karolyi creeped me out, sorry. Sure, he's been successful but his reputation is too controversial within the gymnastics community for me not to wrinkle my nose.
But what fascinates me about this article are the comments. Most of the comments are pretty thoughtful (other than the dullard who wrote "here's a thought
If it's so terrible quit"--gee, that's helpful! She'll just step in her time machine and go back to the '80s and quit, and then come back to resume her adult life.). But there are a few letters from respondents who attack the interview for what they see as bias, especially the headline. Fair enough, we can look at that--the headline is titillating, I agree, although I certainly think the issue of why these men choose to coach only girls, and the potential resultant risks, is a valid topic. But every now and then a tone comes across from some of the letter writers and I click on "Read other letters by [name of poster]." Oh mah Lord. Some angry little men out there. Check out this one guy, "Parson Jim":
[quoting an earlier letter] "The avoidance of teaching/coaching careers by men in many fields is exactly due to the sexism of this article and Sey's book.
"But the decline in male teachers has been taking place for decades, and feminist organizations have been fueling it for the same time with their hate speech against men."
Look around you, Mr. Feminist, and you will find hate in fellow feminists who preach "equality", [sic] but who are bigots or the worst type.
I clicked on "Read Parson Jim's other letters" and EVERY SINGLE LETTER is about this shit! Almost every single letter denounces feminism or asserts how bad American men have it compared to American women or denies the existence of male chauvinism/sexism/etc. (I read through the first ten pages of the guy's 60+ page archive of posts--there were maybe 5 letters that addressed other issues. I didn't want to read past the first ten pages--too creepy!) Oh my God, dude, CHILL. OUT. You will never get any action with that kind of bitterness seeping out of your pores. (Maybe that's the cause? Nothing pisses a certain kind of loser off like not getting some when he feels entitled. You know the saying, "a whore is a woman who sleeps with everyone. A bitch is a woman who sleeps with everyone but you.")
UGH. I seriously feel creeped out now. Hey dude, like it or not, feminism is here to stay, abortion is still legal and we're not shutting up. Welcome to the 21st century.
Throughout the book, you make elliptical references to male coaches who are attracted to young girls and imply that your own personal coach, John, was one of them. What did you mean when you said that he was "lewd and lascivious" and "may have liked being near all the barely dressed teens, but … never explicitly let on"?
He was never inappropriate with us, but he was a really flirty guy, and we all saw that. And sometimes the women he flirted with were very close to our age -- 18, 19 years old, and we were 15 or 16. There were a lot of things he did that made me feel weird -- he was a weird guy. The conditions of the sport are strange, and that was what I was trying to say. Most men that coach women gymnasts have never been gymnasts themselves. So I always wondered, even as a child: Why do these men want to coach little girls? In some instances, it's purely financial. But I think in the minority of cases, there are men who are interested in little girls.
I've always wondered that myself! Steve Nunno and Bela Karolyi weren't gymnasts--I'm not even sure they were athletes! (I don't know that much about Al Fong's background but his coaching career has been pretty cursed--TWO dead gymnasts?) I always thought men who only coached girls have this need to be the ram among ewes--the unquestioned authority figure because girls are eager to please and will push themselves for that (this applies to younger boys as well, but IMO as boys get older they're more likely to rebel than girl athletes). And frankly, yeah, there is the skeeve factor--any guy who chooses to coach only girls (as opposed to a mixture of boys and girls) is always going to seem a little weird. Bela Karolyi creeped me out, sorry. Sure, he's been successful but his reputation is too controversial within the gymnastics community for me not to wrinkle my nose.
But what fascinates me about this article are the comments. Most of the comments are pretty thoughtful (other than the dullard who wrote "here's a thought
If it's so terrible quit"--gee, that's helpful! She'll just step in her time machine and go back to the '80s and quit, and then come back to resume her adult life.). But there are a few letters from respondents who attack the interview for what they see as bias, especially the headline. Fair enough, we can look at that--the headline is titillating, I agree, although I certainly think the issue of why these men choose to coach only girls, and the potential resultant risks, is a valid topic. But every now and then a tone comes across from some of the letter writers and I click on "Read other letters by [name of poster]." Oh mah Lord. Some angry little men out there. Check out this one guy, "Parson Jim":
[quoting an earlier letter] "The avoidance of teaching/coaching careers by men in many fields is exactly due to the sexism of this article and Sey's book.
"But the decline in male teachers has been taking place for decades, and feminist organizations have been fueling it for the same time with their hate speech against men."
Look around you, Mr. Feminist, and you will find hate in fellow feminists who preach "equality", [sic] but who are bigots or the worst type.
I clicked on "Read Parson Jim's other letters" and EVERY SINGLE LETTER is about this shit! Almost every single letter denounces feminism or asserts how bad American men have it compared to American women or denies the existence of male chauvinism/sexism/etc. (I read through the first ten pages of the guy's 60+ page archive of posts--there were maybe 5 letters that addressed other issues. I didn't want to read past the first ten pages--too creepy!) Oh my God, dude, CHILL. OUT. You will never get any action with that kind of bitterness seeping out of your pores. (Maybe that's the cause? Nothing pisses a certain kind of loser off like not getting some when he feels entitled. You know the saying, "a whore is a woman who sleeps with everyone. A bitch is a woman who sleeps with everyone but you.")
UGH. I seriously feel creeped out now. Hey dude, like it or not, feminism is here to stay, abortion is still legal and we're not shutting up. Welcome to the 21st century.