COLD

What the F is up with the weather? It's as though we've jumped forward to the third week in January (quantifiably the worst week of the year, as determined by the weather, lack of light, failed resolutions and arrival of holiday bills). I cannot believe how painfully cold it was this weekend, all I wanted to do was huddle in my apartment. I mean literally painful, I feel like my skin is cracking every time I move.

Tomorrow and the rest of the week is supposed to be somewhat better (highs in the 30s)...until Saturday, when we're back to lows in the teens. KILL ME NOW.

Thoughts on New Moon and Eclipse

*I love how gossipy all the wolves are. I guess when you have a literal pack mentality, you're that much more interested in everyone else's lives. "So I heard that Sam hooked up with Leah the other night at the party." "Ew, no way! Sloppy seconds, anyone?" "Shut up, you guys!"

*So, if there's only one way to kill vampires (tear them to pieces and set the remains on fire)--why do they need to eat? What if they never fed, would they die from starvation?

*How, when the werewolves killed Laurent, did they start a fire to burn the pieces with no opposable thumbs? I suppose they phased back but I really like the idea of a bunch of enormous wolves standing around a bunch of vampire body parts, awkwardly trying to light a match.

* Edward is a complete dick to Bella when he's breaking up with her. I honestly don't know if I could get past some of the things he said, no matter how altruistic his ultimate intentions were. "You're no good for me"? "I'm tired of acting human"? DICK. And then taking all of her pictures of him? The hell, is he Joan Crawford? And then later on when he's explaining he ended things to keep her safe--okay, maybe I could accept that explanation--oh yeah, except your disappearance contributed DIRECTLY to her near-murder by Laurent and also placed her in great danger from Victoria. Who is an awesome villainess with her "fire on the water" hair. ANYWAY. After saying he did it all for her, he said all these terrible things for her, then he says how hurt he was that she believed him so easily. Edward, you're 17 and still a virgin so I gather you have limited experience with women. Let me explain something. When your BF is standing in front of you coldly saying "you're not good for me and I'm getting the hell out of Dodge"--IOW, when your worst nightmare is coming true--you don't think rationally, you don't think "hmmm, this doesn't sound like him. Let me apply the Socratic method to determine his true agenda." It's not as though breakups come with an exit interview. You're far too hurt. You react. It is pretty tacky to say calculatedly cruel things to get your GF to break up with you, and then turn around and essentially blame her for believing it.

*I think Edward gets off on over-protecting Bella because he can sublimate his own homicidal urges toward her.

*Ashley and I were talking about Jacob's growth as a character--she does NOT like how he went from happy, nice guy to aggressive, not-as-nice guy after the werewolf gene kicked in. I said that I saw the werewolf transformation as a metaphor for adolescence (specifically, male adolescence)--he grows much taller, packs on the muscle, becomes short-tempered. Ashley gave me this "put down the crack pipe" look and said "you are giving her [the author] WAY too much credit."

*Jacob's personality transformation notwithstanding, I adore Jacob in Eclipse. He is cocky *and* unafraid to declare himself, and I love how he gives Edward shit. The one thing he does that I dislike is when he forces the kiss on her which is pretty obnoxious. (And good on Bella for clocking him.) But he makes up for it when he's holding her in the sleeping bag to keep her warm--I love it when he says to Edward "now you can go keep an eye on things while I take care of your girlfriend for you." I just love that kind of sassiness in a guy. (That is, I love it when it's real and not feigned--feigned over-confidence is annoying as hell, and very easy to spot.) And when he says in front of Edward "Your lips are still blue--want me to warm them up as well?" Oh yeah! It takes [body parts] to pull that off in front of the boyfriend. [Body parts] and sassiness!

*And I have to say, Bella's chemistry with Jacob is much more interesting than that with Edward. Hit that, Bella. Hit that with a stick.

*What English vicar in the 17-century named his son Carlisle? As if. He would be named Thomas or Edward.

*I'm really curious about the whole vampire metabolism--do they never go to the bathroom? What about their hair growing? It just seems weird that they apparently have no metabolism whatsoever--so why do they need to eat?

*Forks High School has an incredibly lax attendance policy. People skip class right and left with no consequences whatsoever.

*No way in hell would Bella get accepted to Dartmouth without a personal interview. I got into Mount Holyoke and Bryn Mawr, both very selective schools even in the demographic drought of the '80s, and a personal interview (either at the school or with an alumnae representative) was required for both.

*Why the HELL didn't Alice see Laurent about to kill Bella? Or Jaspers' near-attack on her?

*The fight at the end of Eclipse is awesome. I seriously cannot wait to see that filmed. Riley's disembodied hand inching its way across the ground? Edward ripping off Victoria's head? AWESOME. And good for Edward for dropping the noble, civilized shit and actually FIGHTING for the girl you love. I love it when Jacob and Edward square off. The Leader of the Pack standoff between them in the school parking lot is kick. Ass. Jealousy in a man can be tiresome when done to death--sorry my game is better than yours, ex-BF, too bad, so sad!--but a little (emphasis on little) healthy display of possessiveness is a good thing.

( Deeeeeper Thoughts )

I've found some absolutely hilar recaps/commentary from one LJer, cleolinda and have been spending the last few weeks at work giggling over them. What I love about her tone is it's equal parts snark and shameful fascination with the series. Some excerpts:

From "New Moon in 15 minutes":

So Jacob teaches Bella the safe and responsible way to start and stop the motorcycle, so that she can then completely ignore him and go roaring down the road while Imaginary Edward (Bellaaaaaaaaaa) and his handwringing (Bellaaaaa, I told you to wear a hellllllllmeeeeeeeet) pop up to distract her (Don't you need a license for one of these thiiiiiiiingsssss) like obstacles (If I were real I would so tell on youuuuuuuu) in a bad video game.

and

Casa de Swan... After Dark

JACOB: Bella! Can I climb into your room, even though I'm mostly naked and it's late at night?

BELLA: Wait--I don't--you're asking first?

JACOB: What? Of course! What kind of creep would just show up in a girl's bedroom?

My favorite commentary is the one for Midnight Sun which, for those who haven't read the books, is Twilight from Edward's POV. It is awesomesauce. When Bella first slo-mo floats into class and he gets a whiff of her, he spends the whole class planning to snap the necks of all the other students so he can kill her. He's like totting up the collateral damage. It's seriously cool and a welcome dash of testosterone. Like the other books, it is over-written--God, can Edward emo--but lots of fun.

From cleolinda's Midnight Sun commentary:

Your impotent fantasies of smearing Death-Van Tyler across the pavement distract him from his VAMPIRE GLITTER VENGEANCE RAGE, RAAAAAAGE!

This kills me. I have been randomly texting to Courtney VAMPIRE GLITTER VENGEANCE RAGE, RAAAAAAGE!

Also:

Bella's like, well, if the sun doesn't crisp you out then why weren't you in school, WHY WEREN'T YOU IN SCHOOL, HUH? I CAN'T STALK MYSELF, YOU KNOW, YOU GOTTA KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE HERE.

*Sigh.* Good times.